I miss everything about him. His smile, his witty comments, his stories, his laughter. I miss him trying to share his taste of music with me and telling me off for listening to pop songs. I miss holding him and kissing him and sitting on his bed with him to watch his silly programs. I miss talking to him about everything from history to religion.
David was an immensely warm and sensitive boy with beautiful blue eyes and a winning smile. He inspired people with his writing, his thirst for knowledge and his eclectic musical tastes. There were very few topics he didn't have an interest in, he was like a walking encyclopedia. He cared deeply about his friends and his family, but he was a loner who found it hard to mix with new people and new situations were a constant source of anxiety for him. He didn't like to be outside his comfort zone and this made job seeking difficult. He was extraordinarily bright, but he preferred to do menial jobs that didn't involve any stress. In late May of this year and after a short stay in hospital for a major infection in his arm (the result of probing for a vein to insert a heroin needle) he finally new what career he would really like to pursue; he realized he would like to be a nurse. He promptly signed up for college and told me that this was the first time he was excited by anything to do with work and his future. Just two months later he passed away.
David battled anxiety and depression for years but his addiction began when he was perscribed pain medication after he had his wisdom teeth removed. He was 20 at the time. When he was unable to get hold of opioids he moved onto heroin. We managed to get him into an outpatient treatment center where he was perscribed suboxine to help with his addiction. We chose this center for David because although it was hugely expensive he would be able to see a psychiatrist to help with his depression and anxiety. However, even after 18 months, he never once saw a psychiatrist and because the doctor associated with the center had put him on Effexor and klonopin, he now had to be weened off those as well. We tried to get him an appointment with other psychiatrists, but they either wouldn't return our calls or refused to see him because he was a drug addict. All of which seems incredible to me. One counsellor I took him to refused to help him unless he agreed to stop taking drugs...this was the reason he needed counseling! Eventually after much persuasion David agreed to go into a residential rehab center in south Florida. He spent a week in detox before moving to the rehab center. Even here I had to fight to get him in with a psychiatrist even though I chose this particular center as it claimed to offer dual prognosis, dealing with his addiction at the same time as his mental issues. We fought with him to stay in there as long as possible but after 5 weeks he won the battle and he left despite his counsellor advising him to stay. He came home on Sunday July 26th and I found him in his room on the morning of July 28th. The autopsy revealed Fentanyl in his system. I know David had intended to take an illicit drug like a pain killer, but despite everything he was a hugely intelligent person and therefore I find it hard to accept that he knew he was taking Fentanyl.
Music festivals, books by the thousands, particularly science fiction books, Dr. Who and Japanese animation, video games,Sherlock Holmes, his friends, his family and his dog, Boots. He loved to write and was an avid follower of the news particularly BBC world news.
I miss everything about him. His smile, his witty comments, his stories, his laughter. I miss him trying to share his taste of music with me and telling me off for listening to pop songs. I miss holding him and kissing him and sitting on his bed with him to watch his silly programs. I miss talking to him about everything from history to religion. I miss seeing him sitting on the porch smoking his cigarette while scrolling through the latest news bulletins on his phone. I miss him so much.