90 days vs 15 years

By
Mahmoud Mashhour
Tell us about your (or your loved one's) recovery journey. What has been the most rewarding part?

I wasn't going to be here, typing this. I never thought I'd want to end my life. Needless to say, 15 years of addiction and escaping my fears led me to it. I was fully aware of all my wrongdoings and yet, I justified every action I took in the most rational way possible. I realized that we, as addicts, have experienced so much in our lives, developing our brain into something not many others would know even existed. The smartest people I ever met were addicts, yet all this knowledge and ability was directed towards a path of destruction. I do not regret being an addict, for with recovery my level of awareness has risen to an extent I never thought was tangeable. I am today not only able to feel, rather properly understand feelings one is going through and see it from both perspectives - past and present. I know that i'm doing something right today because what took me 15 years to destroy, gave me the power to rebuild a proper foundation in only 90 days. I'm not afraid to address my history. The ability to tell true stories, that many others would pay to watch on Netflix, is alone a huge leg-up.

Do you have a message for the Shatterproof community?

I have only read about Shatterproof today and I want to thank you for helping give me the courage to openly talk about my addiction.