Took my career, hurt my family, really screwed up my retirement. Showed me the worst side of the human race.
When you're ready to quit, you'll quit. I just hope it isn't too late for you. I lost so may friends to death by addiction.
I grew up in the 60s and 70s. Smoked a lot of pot, dropped a lot of psychedelics, took a lot of pills but I functioned well in spite of my drug use. Then I went through a divorce in the late 70s that ate my lunch. Got strung out on alcohol and home made amphetamines. Got mixed up in all kinds of things, drug labs, stolen and resold military grade weapons, stolen cars, the whole nine yards. Woke up in 1989 serving a 40 year sentence in the Texas Department of corrections. Paroled out after only four years. Did well for the first two then fell into crack cocaine and heroin. Nothing ever took me down that far that fast. Kept trying to quit. Parole was ordering me to all kinds of treatment programs...nothing worked. One day I found myself with no car, no money, facing eviction. I had nothing going, I was trapped. I'm disgusted with myself. I hate the scum bags I'm running with. I decided I had had enough. I spent three weeks laying in bed detoxing from methadone and crack cocaine. My family gave me an old car and enough money to get insurance and a copy of my driver's license (yeah I had lost that too.) At the end of the third week I fell asleep for almost 24 hours, woke up sweating like a dog several times and fell back asleep. Got out of bed after 24 hours and found a job. I've never looked back. I may have back slid two, maybe three times right after that but within six months, I had turned my whole life around. I got really mad at all the people who had taken advantage of my weakness, and turned in every drug dealing one of them. Today, I am a respected member of my neighborhood. I spend my retired days volunteering for various nonprofits. I am politically involved. In short... I care! Drugs stole half my life from me! But I fought back hard. Drugs are a cancer and they need to be permanently removed from society. However it takes!