I made it!

By
Nicholas Brown
Tell us about your (or your loved one's) recovery journey. What has been the most rewarding part?

I hurt my shoulder in 2011. I was prescribed percocet and vicodin for pain. I didn't need it because I had a habit of misusing since I was a teenager. I had always stayed away from it until this. I started misusing the pills once again. In 2012, I hurt my neck and by the end of 2013 I was in full blown addiction. I was doing anything I could to get pills and I couldn't stop taking them. In 2015, I overdosed and went into a seizure at my daughters ballgame. Talk about embarrassing. I quit several times but kept relapsing after a few weeks. I was so frustrated with myself, and I was ready to die. I already accepted the fact that I was going to die from addiction. I sat in the bathroom and cried every night, thinking about my four children not having me around. I wondered every day if it would be my last. I was on a downward spiral and one day while setting in my tree stand deer hunting, it hit me. It was like God spoke to me and said, "Its time for you to end this!" I went home that evening and made a plan. I only had enough pills to last me about two days. I quit making excuses, owned up to my very poor decisions and realized no one put me in this position. I did it to myself and I need to get myself out of this hole. I prayed for help and reached out to family members who had no idea I was addicted. I received an overwhelming amount of support. On October 23rd of 2015, I quit my job of 10 years (some of my main source of pills) and I went into recovery. I made it! I started counting the months and now I'm counting years! I've been sober now for three years and 11 months. Recovery is possible! The most rewarding part is not letting something measured in milligrams control me. I had back surgery in 2017 and I was able to go through it without narcotics and it felt amazing.

Do you have a message for the Shatterproof community?

If you have an addiction, don't give up. Don't let this statement take away any accountability, but don't give up if you relapse. I relapsed several times before finally knocking this beast out. It wakes up a lot but I now just shut it down with Gods help. Quit making excuses, blaming others, and own up to your poor decisions. That's where recovery begins. I'm praying for you!