I Was Functioning

Dawn Housel
Tell us about your (or your loved one's) recovery journey. What has been the most rewarding part?

One day I overdosed on benzodiazepines and alcohol. I called my ER and my physician answered. She immediately sent a nurse to pick me up as I refused an ambulance. I got my banana bag (actually I got several) and some of my AA friends showed up to be with me. That day I asked for help. I was tired of living and needed a big change. But I just couldn't stop drinking. I went to rehab and got me the best counselor in the world who worked with me despite my many relapses. It finally clicked and I have been sober for 5.5 years. Thank you God!

Do you have a message for the Shatterproof community?

NOTHING is worth losing your life. Quit the job. Find a new one. Get out of an abusive relationship. NOBODY is worth it. Whatever fuels your drinking or drug use--remove it from your life and get help. You cannot do it alone. There are many people out there willing to help. Ask for it.

I was working in administration at a small local hospital. I was good at my job and my boss saw that. I began to get less and less communication from above and became very anxious. I was already drinking wine almost every day, but that did not seem to ease the anxiety enough. I began drinking vodka more and more as the situation at work became worse and worse. I refused to allow her to make me quit. At lunch I had a hard time due to the tremors. I could not eat or drink very well. I had three adolescent children who were suffering at my hand. I made sure that they ate dinner and didn't see them again until the morning. I was physically abusive to my husband who stayed with me and I don't know why. I began planning everything around the time that I could begin to drink after work. Basketball, baseball, soccer- they all had to suffer because of me. My children were embarrassed of me. I alienated my family and was so alone and I liked it that way. I didn't want to share my vodka with anyone else.