My Jessica

By
Angela Keller
Tell us about your (or your loved one's) recovery journey. What has been the most rewarding part?

It has consumed me mentally and financially. It has taken away time with my youngest teen and I resent it. I love my daughter but hate who she is right now. I'm well informed now, not the naïve mom I was three years ago but it's hardened me as well.

Do you have a message for the Shatterproof community?

Always hope for them. Always love them. You may not be able to live with them and that's ok. We (the parents, spouse, child) didn't cause this. It's a struggle and a fight that they can overcome if they are ready and want it. It will not work if you want it more than them.

My story started about 3 years ago. My oldest daughter Jess was doubled over in pain and I had to take her to the emergency room. Little did I know this was one of many visits to come. I didn't know it then but she was going through heroin withdrawal. Soon afterwards I found a needle in her room. I contacted her boyfriend's mother and talked to her about it after talking with Jess and her boyfriend. He claimed that it was his brother's needle. I was so naïve then. Sadly, I don't have much faith in rehabs, we have seen too many and poured our souls into them when she would get out and relapse. I tried setting new rules, one being not seeing the boyfriend, but when your child is an adult, they are hard to enforce. I did kick her out. I wanted my home back, my drug free home. One where straws and lighters aren't found in drawers or hidden under beds. I needed to protect my youngest. As of today, I have not seen my oldest since around Mother's Day. She's on the streets with her boyfriend. They both have warrants. I feel horrible that I want her in jail, away from him. Hopefully one day she will see that life is good even with the bad, that it's ok to hurt without self medicating. I pray for her every single day and night.