I had ruined my life entirely. In the last 19 years, I have gotten all of it back and so much more!
I work every day to help others find what I have! I am surrounded by the people who helped me get clean and sober. My family has accepted me back and trusts me again. My son is my best friend. I get to be "Nana" to my 3 grandchildren and I have a great relationship with my daughter in law. I own a brand new home. I get to pursue my hobbies and I am the happiest I have ever been.
I am not ashamed of my past, because it made me who I am today and today I am proud of me. I am proud to be a person in long term recovery. I am proud to be able to help others. I am proud I am able to look outside of myself even on my worst day and find things to be grateful for. I understand I wasn't a horrible person, ever, not deep down. I was rendered incapable of showing that person by my fears, flawed thinking, flawed beliefs about myself, and the shame I carried every day. I have a choice every day, Do I continue to be the person I have become, or allow the old beliefs to push me back into the scared, confused, misdirected person I used to be? It took a long time to get where I am and today I have been sober longer than I used.
My new "habit" is sobriety. I owe this to the faith others put in me when I had none for myself. I owe this to treatment. I am a person in long term recovery and today I hold my head high when I say this to others! My hope is someday, someday, everyone can hold their head high and say the same for themselves!!
Thank you for what you do!