Still Struggling

By
Laura Roetzer
Tell us about your (or your loved one's) recovery journey. What has been the most rewarding part?

No kids, no job, few friends.

Do you have a message for the Shatterproof community?

Just keep trying to be productive. I was a "functioning alcoholic" for years, and it was grueling.

I started drinking in college, and the one thing I didn't learn was how to stop.
I was always a "party girl" and had varying degrees of success in my career(s).
Never got married or had kids (at least I knew I wasn't responsible enough for that).
Lived a lot of places, met a lot of people, and had a lot of fun. Of course there's a lot I don't remember.
My sister Marcy died from alcoholism at the age of 34...she went downhill very fast, and left behind a 15-year-old daughter, with whom I am very close.
My younger brother lost his first marriage to cocaine addiction. Miraculously, he went to rehab and has been clean ever since, over 20 years.
I have been in rehab four times, and still drink, but "only on the weekends". It's kind of a miserable existence, since I can't hardly get from Monday through Friday. I live with my 87-year-old father, and cook, clean and watch over him. He has a reverse mortgage, and there will be nothing when he dies.
I will basically be homeless then, though I am hopeful one of my siblings will help out.
My dad is also an alcoholic, sober nearly 40 years.
Things could have been worse, but they could have been a hell of a lot better.