A 13 year meth and heroin addiction will feel like a lifetime. A lifetime of destruction, pain, chaos. Unfortunately, it's pain that you can't entirely feel and because of that it does not play a role in helping you quit. Finding recovery that becomes a success and not an attempt is hard as well if you are not doing it for the right reasons. Getting sober will NOT last if you're doing it for your kids, you parents, your spouse, the law. or any other obligations. You need to quit using for yourself, bottom line. Even if you begin your recovery due to some other obligation, finish and succeed in your recovery for yourself, because you want this for you, you want to fulfill your purpose that you're still finding as your life changes for the better each and every day as you take it one day at a time. Remember easy does it. I am a wife and a mother of four kids, three of which have been in temp foster care for a year now and due to mine and my husbands hard work our boys will be coming home soon. When our boys were removed from us we were living in and out of hotel rooms, sleeping in parks, putting our next fix as top priority. That is the raw truth of how far addiction can take you down. After our kids were removed I couldn't afford the amounts of heroin I needed for us to remain fully numb from the pain and heartbreak so I started selling it. Going to the city once, sometimes twice, a day meeting up with dangerous people to pick up large amounts of heroin. I became a monster. I tried over and over again to get accepted into a residential treatment facility but without medical insurance it came close to impossible. The only thing left I could think of doing was to kill myself. By the grace of god i tracked down my old therapist from a previous recovery attempt, who was able to get me into his new treatment center on a scholarship and not only saved my life but saved my children from having to bury their mommy. While I was in treatment I made learning who I am my number one priority. Who is Chelsie? At that point, I didn't know if getting my kids back was even going to be an option, so I used that time to find out what my purpose is aside from being a mother or wife. The support network that I also gained from becoming a humble and teachable human being is my army, my weapon to use against my own self, against my addict mentality that tries to draw me in every chance it gets. Today I am eight months sober, and I still have so much that I am willing to learn. Today, I have a great job, I have my husband by my side, thriving in his recovery as well. I have a car, I have a roof over my head that my kids will soon come home to. I am starting school today with a goal to become a substance use disorder counselor so that someday I can turn my mess of addiction into a message of recovery. Thanks for listening.
be humble, be patient, don't be too brave, don't get too cocky, build a support network, find your purpose, and most importantly reach out when you're struggling.... love yourself!