I bore the pain of my husband's Vietnam demons. I worked the hours necessary to raise my children alone without them paying the sacrifice. I lost the sleep due to nightmares of childhood past, and I became isolated and exhausted. Thinking there was no one I could trust in the world anymore I fell in to depression and my "give a f..." got broken. Ahhh...the drugs made the chaos in my head quiet but only until they became the source of the chaos. Lost my job, lost my home, lost my kids, lost my freedom, and almost lost myself. There was that moment of awakening, a quiet voice told me to trust in my faith, to know that I was unable to manage this disease by myself and to trust again. Today, I have my freedom, a home, a job, my kids, and I still have myself. We do recover but we can't do it alone. Learning to value the simple graciousness of everyday living is the greatest joy.
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