We miss everything!!! There is not a day that goes by that I don't wake up and miss him, nor does a night go by that I don't miss him. I miss hearing his deep voice call me mom, I miss hearing him say "I love you too mom, you know I don't like it when you cry" I miss texting him, listening to him talk and share things with me.
My son Zachary (Zac) was born June 23, 1997 6lbs 15oz 21 inches long. One of the happiest most proudest moments in my entire life! I never knew a love like this until God gave me Zac. I was lucky enough to be a stay at home mom and enjoyed every single minute of everyday I spent with Zac. Zac matured at a rapid rate, he was speaking like a 5 year old by the time he was 18 months old and could reciprocate a conversation with any adult and be completely understood. Zac was definitely an old soul, very compassionate, loving, kind, considerate, wise beyond his years, gifted, resourceful and talented. Zac's smile and presence could light up a room the minute he walked into it. People were drawn to him, especially little kids. One of Zac's proudest moments was when he became a big brother in 2004, he had wished so much for a little sister and God gave him his wish, Lia. Zac would eventually have 2 more little brothers.and become a protector of his family being the oldest at home of 4, he was my right arm. Some of his most favorite things were learning, he had a zest for knowledge and actually taught himself how to speak Italian. He loved music, creating videos, technology, math and science. We miss every single thing about Zac...his smile, his presence, his hugs & kisses, watching him do impersonations, listening to him rap to his favorite artists, making him his favorite foods and listening to him talk about something he learned that he wanted to share with us all. Zac wanted to go to college of to major in chemical pharmaceutics and to one day create a migraine relief medication. Zac was that smart that this was not far fetched, being that he took his SAT's as a 7th grader and was also inducted into the National Honor society in his senior year of HS.
Zac's struggles began in Feb 2012 in his freshman year of HS when he suffered back to back concussions. He suffered severe dibilitating migraines as a result. With the insurance we had, we had to follow protocol for the various trial and error of drugs before finding what would help eleviate his immense pain. This left Zac feeling discouraged and frustrated. Finally 5 months later in July 2012 he started to see some relief from taking a drug called Topomax, we had thought we got our old Zac back. It was wonderful to see him smile again. 7 months later in Feb of 2013 I found a note in his room that would suggest that Zac was starting to feel suicidal, this was a side affect of the so called wonder drug Topomax. We quickly took him to crisis for help and took him off the drug immediately since the benefits out weighed the risks. This left Zac back at square 1. Migraines returned full force and worse than ever. I believe this is when Zac decided to experiment with self medicating. First marijuana, then it progressed to online orders, to eventually heroin, which I was unaware of. In June 2015 right before graduation Zac agreed to go to rehab. Zac completed this 30 day program turning 18 while he was there. Came home was doing great going to meetings &obtained; a sponsor, only to relapse within the 1st week. The last facility he completed was in January of 2016. Zac was doing great living in a recovery house, had a job and was working the program. Around Easter he relapsed again and could not forgive himself. The self hate was so great, he was ashamed and wanted so much to stay sober. In May 2016 he moved to MD w his girlfriend, the communication became less & less between him and I. On 7/5/16 which was the last time I spoke to Zac he called to tell me he was coming to Philly to see a doctor for stomach pain on 7/6 & would be coming to me that evening. Zac never made it to us & was found 6 days later in a wooded area in Philly on 7/12/16, we believe he had been gone since 7/6.
What made Zac smile was his family. He had so much love for us, it was so eminent and vice versa . Zac loved music, everything from frank Sinatra to Tech 9, the Beatles, Eminem, Will Smith, Bob Marley, 21 pilots, and Billy Joel. Food also made Zac smile, he loved sweets, ice cream, pies, carrot cake & his mom's cooking.
We miss everything!!! There is not a day that goes by that I don't wake up and miss him, nor does a night go by that I don't miss him. I miss hearing his deep voice call me mom, I miss hearing him say "I love you too mom, you know I don't like it when you cry" I miss texting him, listening to him talk and share things with me. Zac was a true and utter joy in our lives, his presence and life was way too short but has left imprints on my heart and soul forever. There is an emptiness without him. Our world was brighter with Zac in it, and I must've been blessed that God gave him to me. He was my angel in every sense of the word! They say that God only takes the best, and in this instance I believe it!