I miss Patrick’s hugs and him saying “ I love you, Mom”. We were an affectionate family. He hugged easily and smiled. His last words to me was “I love you, Mom.” Patrick loved the sun, water, and beach. We spent a great deal of time in Naples, Florida. When Patrick was a little boy; he and his father, Jim Cagey, would spend the evenings play wrestling. I loved to listen to their laughter, and many times in my mind I return to those wonderful days and try to find a reason, an answer to how such a loved and happy boy could die at 25 from a heroin overdose. I don’t believe I will ever come to a satisfactory answer. I can look back and see how inadequate the treatment facility was and how unprepared I was to help Patrick. I am a nurse practitioner in addiction. I have worked in this area most of my adult career and I was unprepared to help my own son.