Memorial

Memorial

Benjamin Fisher

Born
Died

His presence. His smell. His voice. HIs smile. His heart beating when I hugged him. The part of my heart and happiness he took with him the day he died.

Tell us about your loved one.

Ben was very loving and giving. He just wanted to be happy and bring happiness to others. He loved movies and history and was at the end of writing a book. Ben was a loving son, brother, uncle and friend. His hugs were genuine and all encompassing. He is missed more every day.

Tell us about Benjamin's struggle with addiction

Ben was a text book case. He was diagnosed as bi-polar, schizo effective, major depressive NOS at the onset of puberty, at age 15. He struggled to feel normal every day of his life. He completed rehab at various facilities 5 times and each time he would get detoxed and on track he would come up with reasons not to take his medications so that he could self medicate with heroin. That was his drug of choice. He felt alone inside his heart and mind. He felt judged even when he was doing well. He felt as if he could never get a break. He damaged the relationships with his siblings. His father and I continued to do what we could for him. I couldn't figure out what his trigger for use was. He would relapse when everything was going well, stable home, job, friends....and he would relapse when things were not good...break up with girlfriend, no job, no friends. He lied, he stole...many things but I never gave up hope because they were just symptoms of the disease. January 12, 2014 he overdosed and the doctor told him that his heart would not survive another overdose. He completed rehab on March 8, 2014 and got a job, an apartment and was doing well. He died on May 22, 2014 with the heroin needle still between his toes. He was never able to see past his addiction and the wonderful man that he was when he wasn't using.

What made Benjamin smile?

Family. Our last Christmas in 2013, he said, "This was the first time in years that it really feels like Christmas". He was clean. He and I would play Family Feud on Facebook together. He loved that. History especially the Civil War Era. Lasagna. Detective shows. Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

What do you miss most about Benjamin?

His presence. His smell. His voice. HIs smile. His heart beating when I hugged him. The part of my heart and happiness he took with him the day he died.

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