Nick was born a few months before I turned 20. The first five years it was just the two of us. I remarried when Nick was 5 and had his sister when he was 6, and his brother when he was 8. He took piano lessons and loved music. At age 10 my husband and I divorced. I took my 3 children and moved back to Knoxville. When Katie and Cameron went to their dads for weekends or holidays, it was just the 2 of us. Nick continued playing piano and added poetry. Nick had friends and did great until he started high school. I knew nothing about addiction. When Nick was drunk he was aggressive and impulsive, he wasn't my sweet baby. By the time Nick had turned 18 his drug use was out of control. Nick was still able to excel in college. When Nick was 20 he went to rehab. He got kicked out for being under the influence and went back a few months later. I never saw him alive again.
My son, Katie and Cameron's brother was gone and wouldn't be coming back.
I miss seeing Nick scratch his whiskers. I miss his smile, how witty he was, watching him make a sandwich and mostly just hanging out and talking. Life will never be the same. I often wonder how our lives would have turned out had we made better choices. My love for you, Katie and Cameron will never die.