The National Addiction Memorial honors the loved ones we’ve lost.

Oops I did these questions backwards.... The things that made Ian smile.... The ocean and surfing! Hunting with his dad, eating pancakes with whipped cream! His family ... He hugged us and told us he loves us every time he walked in the house.

Ian struggled with addiction for nearly 10 years. It caused so much tension in the family. He went through two stints in rehab, but he couldn't seem to break free.

About a year ago Griffin admitted to me that he started smoking weed at about the age of 14. I had no clue. He was always active , had a job and did well in school. About 2 years ago his personality started to change. He was still working and was attending Aviation Mechanic School, but he was not quite himself. In October of 2015, Griffin quit college and started hanging out in the "badlands" of North Philly. He eventually lost the job he had since he was 14 years old, working with a close family friend. Griffin was arrested and his personality rapidly changed. He went from happy go lucky Griff to sullen, withdrawn and sometimes downright mean. I'm not sure when he started using pills, but I later found out he was using Xanax, Percocet and Oxycodone. Griffin's appearance and demeanor changed completely over the last 6 months of his life. He lost weight, became withdrawn, sometimes angry and more depressed and I watched the light and joy fade from his eyes. I scheduled appointments for him with therapists, mental health professionals and rehab centers, and although he would optimistically look forward to getting his life back on track he would never follow through. On June 26,2016, I received the worst news a mother could hear, "you have to come with me, there is something wrong with Griffin". When I arrived, the paramedics were doing CPR. It seemed like hours and finally at 12:20 pm we were told he had no pulse, there was nothing they could do. His father, myself and his girlfriend spent the next 3 hours sitting with him. I laid next to him, stroking his hair, singing to him and begging him to come back to us. But Griffin was gone. An accidental overdose at the age of 20 would forever change so many lives.

Graham battled with heroin for several years. After completing more treatment he thought he finally had it licked. He lasted 1 week outside of the controlled environment before he used. That last week of his life he was high on meth until he finally turned back to heroin. That final choice took his life. I read these words after the tragic overdose of Philip Seymour Hoffman, "It wasn't the last needle that killed me. It was the first."

Jerry's death was the product of someone else's addiction. Because of his kind heart, he tried it one time to protect someone else from doing it, and died from an overdose.

George started smoking pot, I believe age 11 or 12. I know I found him drunk just a few times. I just never even knew he was headed toward a massive war which would take his life. From psych wards, counseling, A.A. & NA meetings, jail, prison. He would pull himself up but never being able to stay sober for long. I believe now he should of been on some medication for depression. I should of taken him when he was young to a psychiatrist to get examined. He cried to me often. But one time, one of his sober times, I remember taking him to look for a job and he looked at me and said " Mom, what is wrong with me?" The addiction of course advanced to the point that he wished for death.

Geoffrey struggled with addiction for many years, more than his parents had known. But his most intense struggle was probably in the past 3 - 4 years. I honestly think he was masking some deep depression/pain combined with his inability to really cope with just 'life in general'. When we were together recently driving back from Florida (where he'd spent nearly 18 months in and out of rehab facilities), he shared with me how it all started, pills. He knew that cocaine could get him into 'trouble', but he just didn't think that abusing pills would. Once they became too expensive he resorted to heroin. He OD'd once that we know of when he returned home briefly in 2014 on his birthday and was revived with shots of narcan. He said due to that near death experience he was done. Obviously the gripe of his addiction was too tight. Shortly after Christmas 2015 he told his Mom & I he wanted to come home, so I flew to Florida on January 11th and we drove his car back, arriving home on the 12th. During the drive he said one of the many reasons he wanted to be back home (aside from missing family and friends) was he got tired of losing people he'd gotten close to. He counted 15 in the time he was there that had died from overdose. Five days later his Mom found him in his room.

Struggled for many years with alcohol and prescription meds. Was in and out of treatment for years. Reached a point where he just could not stand the pain and drank one night until he didn't wake up.

Frequently before he started high school, he would talk about how much he hated "drugs" and reassured his father and me with great conviction that he would never get involved with them. He entered high school with a great group of friends, and with a solid self-esteem. However, he began to have serious anxiety and panic attacks and the medication his Dr. gave him did not help. He could no longer tolerate his meds for ADHD. Thus, his inability to focus impacted his grades and motivation for school. During 10th grade he began to smoke weed to alleviate his anxiety. Despite, a great deal of therapy and attempts at prescription meds, he continued to spiral downward. His drug use began to include inhalants, and LSD. Several placements at the local mental health center as well as numerous rehabs did not help. By 18 he was dx with Bi-Polar and thus as having a Dual Dx. But the recommended treatments did not help. He continued to relapse and to struggle with anxiety, depression and mood swings. By his senior year, he was involved with harder drugs and barely graduated from HS. During the summer after his freshman year in college he started using IV heroin. More rehabs followed, but as much as he wanted to succeed, nothing helped for long. He started doing IV cocaine along with the heroin. During 2014 he became suicidally depressed and had three very serious attempts. He remained sober and received numerous meds and treatments for his depression but nothing helped much. By summer of 2014 he began trying a new treatment for depression and drug cravings (Ketamine injections) in Denver. He had only had a few of treatments but they seemed to be helping. He was talking positively about moving to Denver. We had to come back to Memphis but were planning to return to Denver ASAP so he could finish his treatments and move there. The night of 9/3/14 we returned home. The next day we found him dead from an OD. We will never know for sure if it was accidental or intentional.

His struggle began when his brother died in a single car accident...ethan just couldn't get past that pain...

Erik battled a severe depression/anxiety disorder from an early age. He had a traumatic birth which now they believe may have been the beginning of the disorder. His substance abuse started with using weed in the 7th grade. It didn't help that a mom would trade him her pain killers for weed. A 14 year battle with periods of hope that he would beat the addiction. It was always the anxiety and PTSD that brought him to the point where he gave up. So many years battling the legal stuff with probation violations for weed. 2 years ago he made a deal with the cops to be a confidential informant. From then on the hole just got deeper. On November 7, 2011 he used heroin for the first time. On April 30, 2014 he had been clean for 6 months. At 2:22 a.m. on May 1st Erik used. He died immediately.

She started smoking weed in middle school (frustrated that her parents sent her from public to private school; she never related to the "rich spoiled kids" she met there...) Her addiction then progressed to pills and then heroin. She was in and out of treatment programs from age 15 until she died right after her 30th birthday. She tried so hard so many times but the addiction was much stronger than she was.

Ephraim was introduced to marijuana while in 8th Grade at Catholic Academy in Buffalo, NY. He then moved to the Clarence, NY area where he was introduced to other drugs. In 2003 he was in a car accident and was given a prescription for opiates for pain. He quickly fell into abusing them and in 2005 he was found deceased by an overdose of poly pharmacy.

Within 6 weeks of beginning college, Heroin found my son Emmett and for lack of any better word, he became enslaved by this drug. It dictated how his money was spent, how his time was spent, even when he saw his family & friends – Em was no longer a free person. As parents, we did EVERYTHING in our power to help our son –unfortunately, because he was 18yrs old and still living what appeared to be a “normal” life to outsiders (great grades, never in trouble with the law, no threats of violence) our options was extremely limited. Beyond two “spin-dry” detox stays (the second of which Em signed himself out of early), treatment wasn’t deemed “medically necessary” by our insurance company – and the $30,000 price tag was financially prohibitive for our family. And so this horrible dance with the dragon continued – Emmett lied, he stole, he manipulated those around him – worst of all he shut out his father & I – I knew in my heart that this wasn’t MY son, this was his disease. Heroin had found him…and within 18 short months…it killed him.

Somehow, her self confidence and interest in her future came tumbling down. Her mom was a single parent, and tried very hard to give her good life. Ellen's compassion for others led her to befriend the downtrodden, and spend time with people who were not the most upstanding folk... She made bad choices. She began to use drugs in high school, and her family helped her to attend a recovery program/school, out of state, for 18 months. She did well there, but had relapses after she graduated from high school. Once she was 18, there was little her family could do, other than to tell her often how much we loved her, and encourage her to get help. Though she dearly loved her daughter, she was not able to get herself clean, and maintain custody. She moved out of state, and rejected all attempts by her loved ones to help her find a new path. Unfortunately, she died of an overdose of heroin, presumed by police to have been mixed with another lethal drug. Her family (mother and brother) are raising her daughter, and cherish the memory of the sweet, kind girl that she was.

Elise endured a 10 year battle with her addiction. At the time of her death she was 6 month away from celebrating 5 years of being clean. She is the strongest person I've met.

Dusty was a heroin addict. He started with opiates and progressed to a heroin addiction. He got on a methadone treatment voluntarily and then relapsed. Dusty would steal to support his habits and faced legal ramifications. He was eventually sentenced to a state substance abuse program and was very successful in the program. He completed the program and transferred to a halfway house and served a successful year of probation. He overcame so much and there so many additional stressors through his recovery. In the past few months we heard less from him and he ran from his obligations. We know that so many factors contributed to his decision to take his own life. Dusty wrote a few journal entries while he was locked up I want to share. "I was actually about to just leave one day cause I had 4,500 dollars saved. But I didnt and I spent it all on heroin in a week and a half. What was I doing? I dont know how Im still alive." "Beyond the reach of human range, A drop of hell, a touch of strange..." "But now I see, I saw, experienced, felt something more powerful than earth, it was heaven, GOD, Jesus Christ, angels, H-O-M-E..." (Heaven on Mother Earth) "Then he showed me Proverbs 21, I told him that warmth was the only word me and others with the same experience of death could explain it with."

Drew struggles with addiction for years. It started in High School and just continued to get worse over the years. The last three years were the worst though. That was when heroin came into the picture and it was a downward spiral. He had very small periods of being clean, but it never lasted too long.

Doug began using marijuana and alcohol after his father I and separated when he was about 15. There is an extensive history of alcoholism/addiction in our family tree. Im sure it started out as fun and probably was for quite a long time as his usage of chemicals progressed from cocaine to opiates ( prescriptions) to finally heroin ( when pills became too hard and expensive to buy). He began smoking/snorting heroin and was actually introduced to IV use by an addicted police officer he met in a treatment program. Doug was in jail treatment, prison alternative treatment, and IOP. He attended 100's of AA/NA meetings and attempted to work the program. He loved recovery and all that came with it however his addiction fought for its own survival. He had a lot of stress due to all of the mess that needed to be cleaned up. He was sober for six months when he relapsed. He passed away at the home of his girlfriend Helga and her children. Doug loved Helga very much and cherished both her and her children. I know that he would not have ever hurt any of them intentionally, although his death has brought much hurt sadness and yes even anger at the senselessness of it all! I think the fact that he made promises, that he spoke of wanting to live and knowing that one more use could result in his death, speaks to just how powerful, baffling and cunning this disease is.

My mom had the stomach surgery in 2005 and after she developed a taste for alcohol and become addicted. The addiction was always there... The door just needed to be open. In the end of her life she was addicted to anything that would help her sleep