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Michael David Sutton

Age 40
musician, artist, writer and philosopher
Michael David Sutton
Age 40
40

Michael David Sutton was a spirit of enormous curiosity and intellectual exploration, a musician, artist, writer, and philosopher. Michael was a loving and kind man with literally hundreds of friends with whom he developed active channels of frequent communications, stimulating exchanges, and prolific essays challenging the very foundations of human perception and existence. He was deeply concerned for those who struggle for survival and the social ills of our country. Family and friends miss his creative spirit and unique way of seeing the world.

Michael was 40 when his body was pulled from the Des Moines River May 18th, 2019. He was born and raised in Des Moines, Iowa. Michael struggled through elementary school as a few perceptive teachers pointed out that the education system was not prepared for a child of his formidable intellectual abilities and active questioning of everything. It was a poignant time when the only answer schools offered was immersion in pharmaceuticals to blunt the hyper active child. With his mother’s coaching and without the chemicals, Michael succeeded, showing bright promise. He graduated from Roosevelt High School, and moved on to Kirkwood Community College in Iowa City. It may have been about this time that Michael began recognizing and reacting to feelings of social anxiety, but most certainly, college life exposed him to cocaine and a variety of experimental chemicals.

Living on his own was a greater challenge for Michael. He did not easily accept the social norms of owning or driving automobiles, ownership of property, expectations of economic systems that he saw creating class strata and “slave-wage, soul-devouring occupation.” He struggled to hold jobs, seldom asking for appropriate hourly compensation, seemingly lacking drive to raise or even recognize higher lifestyle. Instead, Michael found his ambitions in studying philosophy, composing music, creating art, and writing. He traveled a bit, living in Albuquerque, New Mexico, Champaign-Urbana, and Chicago, Illinois.

Music was important in his life. Receiving his first guitar at 14, music became central to his creative expression as he learned to play a variety of instruments and developed his own unique vocal style, performing in bands in Champaign, Chicago, and Des Moines. The lifestyle brought Michael exposure to more menacing drugs, amphetamines, and heroin. He became homeless and lived hand-to-mouth on the streets of Chicago for nearly two years, panhandling and selling small paintings.

The family responded to his phone call the week after Christmas 2012, and drove to Chicago in a blizzard to rescue him as sub-zero temperatures descended on the Windy City. The transition was not easy but with good food, loving care, and judgment-free environment we all hoped for the best. We did not know of Michael’s heroin addiction for weeks, though professionals might have recognized spontaneous bouts of paranoia and anxiety.

To the dismay of all, he returned to Chicago after three months, just as we were recognizing clearing of his eyes, relaxed manner, and greater vitality in his posture and movements. Strangely, again, just before Christmas, as minus temperatures plunged Chicago to nearly 10-below, he again asked if we could bring him home to safety. This time he seemed to succeed. Structure and nurture began to bring him back into the fold of family and old acquaintances. With time he found work, rebuilt relationships, and began playing in local bands.

Last year, turning 40 was a quake in his life. Depression had set in; he appeared shaken by his own diminished estimation of himself and his life accomplishments. A series of events seemed to cascade like dominos bringing crushing blows to his self esteem through the latter part of 2018, including being arrested, losing several jobs in a row, being committed for evaluation, and losing his home. Somewhere in this cycle, Michael turned to using meth. Friends and family alike noticed changes in his personality, major episodes of paranoia, irrational feelings, and delusional thinking. The downward spiral culminated near the end of April this year when Michael went missing. How he died remains unknown until we have the final results from forensic tests.

His mother Cheryl Sutton, stepfather Stan Sanders, Des Moines, his father Walter H. Sutton, stepmother Deloris Sutton, Osceola, sisters, Sherrie Lynn, and Rena, survive him. His brother Walter Scott Sutton preceded him in death. He is deeply missed by all.

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Ryan Terence McKeown

Age 26
Loving, funny, smart
Ryan  McKeown
Age 26
26

My amazing brother, Ryan, died due to complications from a heroin overdose last week.

Those who knew Ryan knew he struggled with his demons for years. I find myself angry and heartbroken that I could not find a way to heal him or help him become the person he was struggling to be outside of his addiction.

My relief from some of this pain lies in the fact that he became an organ donor and through others, will live on.

I will forever miss his kind heart, loud laugh, and caring nature.

Addiction has taken so much from my family and I can't stand to see it ruin others.

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Gregory Robert Lowe

Age 32
Fun, Caring, Loving, Missed
Gregory Lowe
Age 32
32

Greg had a spark that drew others to him. Smart, handsome, and caring. He was as good a son as anyone could have hoped for. Special to me and his identical twin brother and good friend to many. We loved him completely. We miss him intensely. As with too many others, he lost his battle with opiate addiction. He had made repeated attempts at recovery only to die from an accidental overdose. This horrible epidemic has taken so much from so many. There are many reasons why individuals become addicted, but the carnage is inexcusable and unnecessary. Many could be saved if our system was improved. Prevention, evidence based programs and common sense legislation are key to saving our loved ones. If someone wants the help they should have access to it when they need it, for as long as they need it. Our current system has failed! Please support Shatterproof and other such organizations for change.

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Bethany Ann Howell

Age 26
Daughter, mother, love of my life.
Bethany  Howell
Age 26
26

Bethany is my only child. She is a mom, wife, the first grandchild in our family, a niece, and a friend. he was considered the meme queen of social media, always having a funny sense of humor and quick wit about her. But under all of the laughs, she struggled immensely with anxiety and feelings of abandonment. Her father and I divorced when she was two. After our divorce he chose to not be a prominent figure in her life and it affected her.
Later, Bethany began having severe pain each month from her period that led her to the doctor for help. The help came in the form of hydrocodone, which also helped dull the emotional pain she suffered. As time passed..her anxiety and feelings of abandonment grew and over time the hydro became heroin.
She became addicted. She fought for 3 and 1/2 years, having several months of sobriety. This last stretch, we thought she was going to manage the addiction. She was working, back with her family, and we were experiencing for the first real time hope.
In the end she relapsed. It was a fatal dose of Xanax or heroin laced with fentanyl that took the life of this beautiful soul.
No words spoken or written can ever describe the emptiness that invades my every waking moment as I still try to process the reality of not having my daughter with me. It’s been almost one year and it still doesn’t seem possible that she’s actually gone.

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Alec Anthony Lewkowicz

Age 27
Alec was kindhearted and compassionate
Alec Lewkowicz
Age 27
27

Alec was my firstborn and my shining light. Always smiling and laughing. He was really smart, eager to learn and try new things. He loved sports, especially the San Francisco 49ers and the NY Mets. As he grew he developed a passion for comedy and music, attending concerts as often as he could. In fact, at the time of his death, he was working security at the Capital Theatre, where he could make some money while indulging in his appetite for music. He struggled on and off with addiction, starting out with pills and progressing into heroin. I was unaware of his addiction until about three years prior to his death. He was hospitalized twice and engaged in some outpatient treatment. Alec didn’t like to talk much about his struggles. I’m sure part of it was to protect me but I think he also felt shame from the stigma. He would do well, and then have relapses. The last relapse took his life. The last time I saw him before his death was at my daughter's college graduation party. He looked amazing. He was with his girlfriend of two years, and they seemed happy. He informed me he was applying to go back to college. I couldn’t be happier until my world came crashing down shortly after. It’s a phone call I pray no other parent ever has to get. I would get so angry with him when he was in active addiction, but now I’ve educated myself to see how this is a disease. My son didn’t want to be an addict, it was just too big for him to get a grip on. I think about him every second of every day. We all miss him tremendously.

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J. Callan Callan Stern

Age 31
Kind-hearted, smart, funny, professional, loving
J. Callan Stern
Age 31
31

Callan was a wonderful son. His loving soul was high-jacked after knee surgeries nine years ago.  He knew he was loved, and we were worried about him.  After rehab he did pretty well, mostly, only compromised when visiting his "friends", who we warned him repeatedly to avoid.  These were not his friends, but profiteers from Callan's addiction and trust.  The drugs changed him and although we'd see glimpses of the the old Callan, he was suffering and conflicted with pain and guilt, and never the same.  He was 31 years old when he OD'd.

Despite this overwhelming struggle, Callan excelled at work and strove to keep in touch with us on a regular, if not daily, basis.  His concern for all of us, and for others, is well documented with stories that make us even more proud of him. 

Callan loved sports, especially Pittsburgh teams, with the Steelers being his #1 team.  He loved going to Nashville Predator games and traveling with the love of his life, Kacy.  Being married to Kacy, we feel, was a great blessing for our family and gave us 2 or 3 years with Callan we may not have had.  He enjoyed regular workouts with his younger brother Ethan, and was an exceptionally strong weight lifter.  His concern for his younger sister Rachel, still in high school, was a topic of almost every conversation.

It will be hard to watch Steeler games, or do other normal things we did together.  Our hearts are broken and we all have a huge hole in our lives that cannot be filled.

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Joseph Lee Shultz

Age 24
Brother, father, life of the party, old soul, live free.
Joseph  Shultz
Age 24
24

My brother was a realist who saw everyone for who they were. Addict or not, he saw the very best in you, no matter what. At a young age, my brother and I would spend so much time together, going on camping trips, to the beach, just living life. We always stayed connected even when he moved to Jersey a couple of times. I never knew anything about addiction until we both watched my sister go through a horrible heroin addiction--in and out of many rehabs, letters--we watched and were a part of it all. Except there was one thing I didn't know about my brother....I didnt' know that he was addicted to heroin. Joey and I got into our fair share of trouble but we were thick as thieves. We were always together. He used to live in Downingtown and that's when I first tried coke. We stayed up for hours talking about life and so much more. He may have had an addiction way before any of us finally figured it out. He loved his family and friends. Being around a lot of people at one time was his thing. He wanted to be around as many people as possible and now I understand why. Whenever we would hang out, we would take some pills, do a couple lines of coke and drink a little but I never thought anything of it. He was the most caring person I've ever known in my life. He made a huge impact on everyone he came into contact with. He was a huge player, and looooooved the ladies, but when he was actually in love, he loved hard. There was a period of time where he and I lost contact, but I'll never forget the night he called me just to talk. He went to a bar in one night and someone accused him of harming a female. If you knew my brother and everything he stood for, you would know that what he was accused of wasn't right at all. He was a firm believer of hit first ask questions later, and that's what he did. He called me and told me that someone was accusing him and he didn't like it. He had enough and beat the guy saying all of this rude, disrespectful stuff to him. Then, he said I can't do this anymore. I wish I would've been more attentive to what he meant instead of just agreeing. The next day he came over and I could tell he was different by the way he stood there with the blank stare, not talking, trying to make jokes but it was directed at his own pain. I was watching someone I loved so much die right in front of me. I'm not sure when his addiction started, and my sister believes and carries the weight of believing that she was the one who caused him to become addicted to heroin. It could've started when he was in the hospital for a number of things, broken bones, liver problems, or it could've started in 2009 when our grandfather took his last breath. But I didn't help. You see, I was an addict myself, except my drug of choice was crystal meth. I didn't care about anyone but myself and how I was going to get my next fix. But I was dating the dealer so I stopped worrying, and I started thinking about how much I needed to get me through the rest of the day and how much I needed for the next day. I was already a mother of two, heavy meth addiction, toxic/abusive relationship. But Joey was always there for me. He was my protector, my safe zone, my go-to guy, he was me. Joey had a contagious smile and laugh, and pure happiness, joy, and love expelled from him. It was to hard to ignore. He was the life of the party, and there was never a dull moment with Joe. I was five years into a really toxic relationship, and the person I thought I was going to spend my life with took a turn for the worse. I was mentally, emotionally, and verbally abused for majority of our relationship, but Joey was always there to lift me up even if he didn't know the real reason behind my pain, even while he was drowning himself. I'll never forget the day I was told that he passed. It still haunts me to this day. I was pregnant with my third child, it was 21 days after his birthday. I was still in my active addiction. I was coming back from a doctor's appointment at the ob when my mom called me and said she had something to tell me and that I needed to get there right away. Taking a step back, my parents got divorced shortly after my 21st birthday and Joey was still alive but we never spoke. When I showed up to my moms house, both my mother and my father were on the porch waiting for me. They did that stupid look that parents do when they have something important to say but no one wants to say it. They looked at each other and I was pissed off cause well I needed my drugs and I didn't care what they had to say, so I shouted to spit it out! I'll never forget this. I watched tears well up in my father's eyes. He looked at my mom and then they said what I was hoping to never hear. Joey passed away this morning. He was found alone, blue, not breathing for sometime. My brother died of an overdose, alone. I dropped to my knees and cried like a baby, and then I ran. It's been almost three years since he's passed and I still haven't accepted it and I don't think I really ever will. My brother meant everything to me and life is not the same anymore. But because of his death and this disease, I am two years sober. I made the decision to better myself and my life for me, for my kids, and for my family. Joey, today I am sober because of you. Today I can share my experience, strength, and hope with other people. It's because of you that I love everyone a little bit harder, and it's because of you that I can make people smile even when I'm struggling. It's because of you I learned how to be selfless and more caring to those around me. You've taught me so much as life went on and I carry those things with me for the rest of my life. You were an amazing person, a wonderful brother, grandchild, father, nephew, and uncle. You were the light everyone was proud to be around. I miss you big brother, and thank you for touching so many lives. Your memory lives on. I wish I would've been able to say goodbye. You were the life of the party and this party is dull now. Truly missed and loved, and damn sure never forgotten. Live free 🖤

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Jared Kadish

Age 28
Loving, caring, warm
Jared Kadish
Age 28
28

Jared was a loving, caring young man who was taken from us much too early. In his short time on this earth, he touched so many people with his kindness and his warm smile. He will be missed and never forgotten. May he rest in peace.

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Deni Ivanac

Age 23
Son, brother, angel, friend, guardian
Deni Ivanac
Age 23
23

My son struggled with addiction for 4 years. His twin brother, unfortunately, is presently fighting the same addiction. We, as a family, have suffered a huge loss. Deni was a pure and good soul. Even though his addiction consumed him, he never stopped fighting his demons. People say addiction changes, but Deni stayed himself. He was loved and appreciated, respected and cherished. His funeral truly tells who he was, what he stood for... There were hundreds of people, all coming to say "the world is not going to be the same without you Deni!"
He left a mark in this world, even though he only lived for 23 short years. We, as a family celebrate his memory, his legacy and unconditional love Deni always had for us... He wouldn't have it any other way!

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Matthew Patrick Ciecko

Age 28
Son, brother, uncle, nephew, loved
Matthew Ciecko
Age 28
28

Matthew was a very kind, caring person. He made friends where ever he went. He was always helping others, especially his students! He loved being a teacher and working with middle school kids. He is missed by so many, he will always be forever in our hearts. 💕

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Patrick Ryan

Age 29
Father, lover, friend, brother, son
Patrick Ryan
Age 29
29

Patrick was an amazing man. His opioid addiction didn't change this. He was lighthearted, funny, and sweet. He loved his daughter. He loved life. He had so much more to live for, but now we live for him. He was a week shy of his 30th birthday and was home a short month from a successful program in a halfway house. I loved Patrick more than anything. He was my person, my best friend, and the love of my life. We miss his laugh and his animated personality. There aren't enough words to describe the loss we have suffered. I could go on and on about him. His daughter and I carry him with us always.

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Alex Whitehead

Age 22
Boyfriend, Dog Dad, Amazing Human-being.
Alex Whitehead
Age 22
22

Alex was such an amazing and genuine person. He was extremely passionate, caring, supportive, and loving. He was my other half, my soul mate, my best friend. I always told him the only time I truly felt the feeling of being at home was whenever I was with him. Without him it feels like my house burned to the ground, and there is nothing left. He was such a prankster. He loved doing/saying things he knew would shock people. He loved video games and music, especially rap. He was working on some of his own music before he passed. He was always there for the people he cared about no matter what. Unfortunately, he struggled with so many demons that he just couldn’t shake. He struggled with anxiety, depression, bipolar, and addiction. Losing him has been so hard, but he is no longer struggling everyday and he is finally at peace. While the world lost a spectacular individual, heaven gained one heck of an angel.

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James Christopher Neill

Age 44
Boyfriend. Best Friend. Confidante. Comedian. Comforter.
James Neill
Age 44
44

I love and miss my Penguin more than anything.

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Kristopher Stephen Reilly

Age 34
Son, Brother, Uncle, Loved💔
Kristopher  Reilly
Age 34
34

My Kristopher
Kindhearted, funny, extremely knowledgeable, and very humble. He is missed by his family and friends💔 He tried so hard to get and stay sober, and he set timelines and goals that he managed to achieve on his own. After three months sober, we lost him to fentanyl poisoning. The system failed him for so many times, 30 days in and out of treatment, left to sink or swim. The stigma stopped him from reaching out to the people that loved him.
A life gone too soon, please not one more life💔

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Jonathan Krueger

Age 44
Father, husband, brother, son, old soul.
Age 44
44

My dad was compassionate and loyal. He went out of his way to do things to make our days a little easier, like waking up early to make sure we got breakfast, or warming the cars up in the morning before we’d have to leave during the cold Wisconsin winter. He was a good cook and always made sure to bake us our favorite cakes and a special dinner for our birthdays. My love of cooking comes from him.

My dad was smart and funny. He rarely went anywhere without a book in hand, and could quote movies and TV shows of all different genres. My love of The Princess Bride, Scrubs, and many other things I haven’t been able to watch since his passing come from him.

My dad was a hard worker. Many of my childhood memories are of my mom, my dad, and I going out to my grandma’s house, where we would help take care of her old farmhouse and the land around it. Even when he didn’t live with us, he still came by and did housework so that things looked nice for when we got home.

My dad was a myriad of wonderful things that brought joy and happiness to those around him, but he was also an alcoholic. He started drinking at a young age, and never stopped. Through my birth, a divorce because of his alcoholism, a remarriage to the same woman who never wanted to leave in the first place, the birth of his second daughter, and the threat of another divorce. Through all of these periods of great happiness, and the deepest sorrows that stemmed from his drinking, he never could stop.

My dad could not stop drinking even after he was hospitalized and they told him that if he didn’t stop, he would die. It only took three months after his release from the hospital for his body to give up in his sleep. He was exactly one week away from his 45th birthday.

My dad was an old soul, but with all of his wisdom he couldn’t keep the demons that were haunting him at bay. Between his disease and his learned habits, he could not let all of the love that we had for him replace the bottle. I think about him every day and hope that his soul is finally at rest.

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Antonio Valle

Age 51
Beautiful smile, funny, smart, kind and soft hearted
Antonio Valle
Age 51
51

My brother struggled most of his life, starting with alcohol at 14 years of age and ending his life with prescription meds. We miss that beautiful smile, but we know that he’s finally at peace.

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Christian Robinson

Age
Gone too soon
Christian Robinson
Age

Christian had a sweet, gentle spirit. He tried many times to get and stay sober, but never found enough peace to maintain his recovery. Christian was 21 when he died and the world lost a beautiful person. I'm still sad.

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Matthew Sam Bittan

Age 25
Full of Love and Life!
Matthew Bittan
Age 25
25

Matthew was the most loving, outgoing, caring, empathetic person you could meet. He had friends from all over world. He would walk into a room and become the life of the party, befriending everyone that came into his path. He was soulful and loved adventure and travel. He loved taking his guitar everywhere and entertaining a group or just sitting on a beach and playing for his friends. His favorite song was "Wonderwall" by Oasis. He loved studying different cultures and knew how to bring people together. No one ever felt left out. He was all inclusive and it didn't matter who you were or from where you came. He also loved his family and always looked forward to spending time with everyone over the holidays and summers.

Growing up, Matthew was always high energy and never slept. Even as a baby he was always wide awake and needing to be up and out of his bed and held. He loved and needed attention always (not in a bad way) but he just wanted to be loved and he gave love back. When he was in school he was very active and an amazing student. Because of his high energy we had him tested for ADD and a very detailed IQ test that took a few months to complete. They found that he did not have ADD and that he scored in the superior range of IQ for his age, which may be why he just needed to always be challenged. His mind was alway on.

Matthew got addicted to pain killers after a few minor surgeries (tonsils removed, adenoids removed, deviated septum, appendix, hernia). He also had issues after hurting himself wrestling in high school, complained about minor pain in his back and neck. His doctors especially once at ASU easily prescribed different medications to him in large amounts (painkillers and xanex). Once back in school, he continued to get prescribed meds basically for anything he needed. It seems like a few of his fraternity brothers at ASU did this together because a couple have passed within the same time. I think one of the biggest reasons he got hooked was that he felt it helped knock him out (as he said) so he could get some sleep. He used to be up for days if he didn't with his mind on. This is how he started self medicating. As his tolerance grew to the meds so did the amount, which then led to him (trying) using heroin by the time he was a senior. We only found out during his senior year. He was a normal college student. He didn't seem any different from any of the other kids we knew. If anything he was happy, outgoing, fun and smart. There where no signs that said I"M AN ADDICT (or maybe there were and we just didn't know) but once we knew that he was taking prescription meds, we put him directly into a rehab center for a month, then a step down from there into a sober living. We still had no clue he was doing anything more than that, until he was in rehab and he had to come clean during family week. Once home he was fine but struggled over the next few years and ended up back in detox a few times. He really wanted to just be ok and normal like any 24 yr old. After several months, we finally thought he was good. He was sober for some time and he wanted to finish up school and take classes in LA for film. We agreed to this if he continued with an outpatient program with therapy and lived in a sober living house to make us feel comfortable with his being away. Unfortunately, it only took one more mistake after being there for six months. Matthew passed from an accidental overdose on June 12, 2016, 12 days after his 25th birthday. I never read the toxicology report to know if it was tainted with fentanyl or just too much. At the end, it just doesn't matter. Addiction took him from us and the world. He is forever in the hearts of so many people who's lives he's touched and saved. He's missed every moment of everyday and his life will continue in the memories he's left us all with. Love, Mom

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James Christopher Neill

Age 44
Father. Son. Boyfriend. Best Friend.
Age 44
44

I miss you Penguin. I love you.

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Jeremy Ryan Cooper

Age 23
Fun loving, caring, friendly, compassionate
Jeremy Cooper
Age 23
23

My beloved son Jeremy died of a heroin overdose that was laced with fentanyl on March 25, 2016 at the young age of 23. His struggle with addiction started in his teens with marijuana. Until he was 20 yrs old, marijuana was usually the only drug he used. After that, he started trying different drugs and got addicted to opioids, which led to heroin. He had been in recovery for three months, going to meetings and counseling, attending church and working. It was so shocking because Jeremy seemed to be turning his life around.
Jeremy grew up in a loving family with three brothers. He played baseball for eight years. He enjoyed a variety of music, loved the group Kiss, and played the drums. He had so many friends and was loved by all who knew him. I miss my son so much and my heart is forever broken. I love you Jeremy! ❤️

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