The National Addiction Memorial honors the loved ones we’ve lost.

Adam was a beautiful soul, who loved animals and adored his son. I met my son when he was three. I fell in love with him right then and there. He always had addiction problems, and alcohol was his drug of choice. My wild child, with a heart of gold. He became addicted to opioids when he had surgery. Then he hurt his back, was given more opioids and he was using heroin to supplement the prescriptions. When he moved to Florida from Illinois, they were giving him 120 30mg oxycontin a month. That is when the hook went in deep. He was getting into trouble, making really good money and spending it all on drugs. He refused help. I know this drug is killing people and taking our children at an alarming rate. He was so stigmatized because of the way he died. I really deplore stigma. It reduces a human being down to an adverb. His death cannot be in vain and the stigma that goes with addiction must stop. These are humans and they are just like you. I live rurally and the talk was cheap and bad. I will do all I am able to help this cause. I have always been an activist. I was born this way. This is the most horrible thing that can happen to a mother. I am already bleeding and you say he was nothing but a what?

JESSICA
I'm going to tell a story...about a girl..that became a woman, and her view, pain, love, and hate of this world and the people in it and her difficulties to cope with each.
I'm writing this as her mom, but some of the content of this will be her words that came from a few journals that we found after her passing. I battled for days and weeks, now months, whether to make her life/cause of death public, but knowing Jessica, if this could help just one person she would do it!

In an excerpt from one of her journals she wrote the following: "It must almost be over.
What am I going to do then? All my friends are gonna go to hell. I can't handle any of this....anymore....life....people....talking....breathing...being a part of this thing called living.
I absolutely can't deal. God please help me...
Nobody can understand, not anymore...everything seems so useless and hopeless...I'm so weak. I can see the future, but I don't know how to help my friends, the people that I love...they don't know God...just like everybody else I know...I'm so lost...far away...gone. I love them too much...I care about everybody too much. I wish I could stop...I want it all to go away...everything...to run away...thats what I want to do. Leave the world behind...the depression...sadness...loneliness...emptiness...the infinite sorrow of death and pain. The torture of living. I want it all...to stop. But I don't wanna die I just can't do that...I care too much about everybody else...to hurt me...that damn caring thing again. God help me.
I see so much beauty...but it all comes from the pain and sorrow - it hurts- but I can see the beauty- what is wrong w/me. God please help...help me please. I don't know what to do and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. There's no point. Give me someone to talk to.
Why can't I just be like everybody else...somewhat normal- but please-no one is normal, maybe I am - no I'm not. God please.. I'm tired of fighting with w/myself and with/life.

That was my daughter, pretty much, in a nutshell, and this was written in middle school so she carried these feelings of hopelessness for decades! She cared so much for other people and their ups and downs, their sadness, their losses, their hopes and dreams, and she absorbed all of their misery and carried it day to day, and if she couldn't fix their problems it ate a hole through her soul.
This is a girl who found it extremely difficult to help herself and couldn't fix her own problems but she would always be at your doorstep if you called. She had to fix people. She attracted the broken ones.
This was, I'm sure, why she chose to find ways to numb herself. First it was the doctors, anti-depressants, anxiety meds, etc. Nothing worked...I don't remember the first pain pill, but she soon realized the euphoric feeling was the answer to all her misery!
Now I do realize that she dabbled in many things off and on through high school and college. It wasn't something she did everyday or even every week but the different "highs" she experienced made her forget how she felt...for a little while at least!
Later on in life she actually started withdrawing a lot...she ignored phone calls, messages, etc. This was partly her disease and partly because she realized trying to be everything to everybody was killing her.
She did this off and on for the rest of her life.

She also struggled with her appearance. She was taunted in middle school and that left a very deep scar. So when she started losing weight it really didn't raise any red flags. Needless to say it wasn't done without a drug. Doesn't matter what drug but she went through methadone treatment and NA to get off of it. And she did...that was many years ago so we thought she was finally on the right path...then she started drinking. A lot.

Jessica always had a smile on her face and you would never know that she was going through anything of any magnitude. She worked 40 plus hours a week, she made good money, customers loved her. She was high functioning with her addiction.
She didn't look like your "typical addict".

This girl struggled with how people treated each other, how they treated animals and what the world was becoming and the pure evil that surrounded us! This also was her pill to swallow...she hated this life...she was not of this world...she was just playing a part until it was her time to go. She came to us to teach us... and left us...to teach us something else.

Jessica was an angel on Earth and now she's returned to heaven as a heavenly Angel💔
Mama loves you baby and I will never get over you leaving us😢

Jessica died in my bathroom floor all alone. This haunts me!
The ME's report says she accidentally overdosed on heroin. Yes, she had heroin in her system...but she also had an artery that was 90% blocked and for almost a week prior she was having trouble breathing, and of course, she thought it was her asthma, so we never thought much of it. Now I'll never know if she had gone to the ER?? What if?? I have a lot of what ifs....

Red flags...none except moodiness...but hell that was normal sometimes!
I never knew she had ever used a needle...let alone heroin....this was something we talked about and she said, "No way, I'm too chicken to do that!"

Pay close attention to the people in their lives. No matter how old your children are pay attention to their new friends or old friends that reappear in their lives.

This was our first red flag!! I wish like hell now that I would have been psycho mom!
There's always that one person that you just can't put your finger on...but something is off.
Another "what if"?
But the sad thing I have to come to terms with is that Jessica was a grown woman and I probably couldn't have done anything that I hadn't done already or tried to do.

Burying a child is unnatural...I will never be the same...that's all I know for sure right now
Love your kids, never take them for granted....This was something that happens to other people or in the movies. Well I'm not in the movies so I guess I'm one of the "other" people now.

I did not write this for sympathy or any kind of attention. I wasn't sure if I should put Jessica's deepest thoughts or demons she fought out there for everyone to see. I'm still struggling but addiction is killing more and more of our families and I never in my wildest dreams would've believed our family would become a statistic.

I hope the details of Jessica's life and death touches someone out there and give's them the strength to get up and reach out to somebody for help.

PLEASE PLEASE SHARE THE HELL OUT OF THIS!!!! I need it to go far and wide to reach those that need it--that person sitting on the side of their bed wondering if this is how life is supposed to be and if life is even worth this pain, relying on a drug to get through the day to day. Is that living? Even though my daughter didn't commit suicide it's the same results. She knew that every time she let the devil take over and pierce her skin with that needle it could be her last. She took that chance every time. It's not worth it! Get up off the bed and tell someone, anyone, you need help! Hell, if you don't have anyone else call 911. Call the suicide hotline, 1-800 Suicide, check yourself into a rehab, just DO SOMETHING! Your life IS worth it!!

I will always remember the morning of Nov. 5th as the day my heart broke in two.

My name is Omar Abubaker. I am an oral surgeon, professor, and chair of the department of oral and maxillofacial surgery, at Virginia Commonwealth University and Hospitals. I lost Adam to heroin laced with benzo, over four and a half years ago.

Adam is (was) my youngest son of three children. Sarah is the oldest and Joe in the middle. Joe and Adam were living together when Joe found out that Adam was using heroin. Adam was too embarrassed to come and ask me for help so he asked Sarah and Joe to come with him so I would not be mad at him. When they came to me my first question is what should we do, where do we go for treatment? His sister said my friend is having treatment at a local place. The next day I drove him there. That was at the beginning of December 2013. He started to detox and three weeks later they told me he has a positive urine test for heroin. I got mad at him and we talked about it and he was very apologetic. Looking back at that now I feel awful and ashamed I felt that way.

From that point, he went through a course of 9-month recovery, during which he moved out, started a full-time job, and started going to school at night. On Friday, September 26, 2014, at 1:00 he was close by at the MCV hospital/school where I work, having a doctor appointment so he called me and asked me if he could stop by. I said yes. We talked for about an hour and I suggested we go away just the two of us on his one-year anniversary in recovery. He said: "One day at a time, dad". After we were done, we walked to the bookstore and bought him books and stethoscope for his class (he was studying to be an EMT). Then we stood by the traffic light across the street from my office. We hugged and he said, "I love you dad" like every time we ever part ways. I stop by this traffic light every day on my way to work. I never knew at that moment that it would be the last time because the next day, I got a call 8:00 to be told that he was found overdosed, no pulse, and not breathing. He died four days later. I never walked into his room in the hospital ICU. I wanted my last memory of him to be the hug, and the words "I love you dad".

Since his death, my life has never been the same. Initially, I wanted to die so I can be with him, followed by being afraid to die because I wanted to live so I can revenge his death. I went to graduate school for a year on addiction studies so I learned the science of addiction. I wished I knew what I know now before I lost my son because I often think I may have been able to do a better job to understand him and maybe could have helped before or after he was afflicted with the disease. Because I had no second chance at saving my son, I wanted to do something to save others sons and daughters. Over the past two years, I have been traveling across the country (over 75 times) speaking to dentists and physicians to prescribe responsibly. Adam got addicted to prescription medications after shoulder surgery and within months he became addicted to heroin. I have spoken over 100 times locally in my city (Richmond), all over the Commonwealth of Virginia, and nationally at dental meetings, to nurses and medical students, dental students, 3 churches, a synagogue, 2 public libraries and anybody who wants to listen. I have appeared in the media (TV, newspapers) and I testified at the US Senate HELP Committee in Washington, DC.

Everywhere I talked I brought up Adam's story, and similar stories of other families, to make the point that addiction is a disease and to destigmatize the disease. I use the quote from Shatterproof, that Brian said "It took 300 years for the women in Salem to be vindicated." In my presentations, I always say, with my efforts and speaking up to prove using science that addiction is a disease and not a moral failing, I also say that I hope that it will not take that many years for my son, Adam, Brian, and many other Adams and Brians to be vindicated. They did not want to be addicted and wanted to be well. If all my efforts will result in one day sooner for society to accept the true nature of addiction then I am still at peace. As many parents who endured the agony of losing a son or a daughter, I cannot imagine that death will be more painful than my loss so I have not been afraid of dying since his death. The only thing I am afraid of nowadays is dying before I do enough on this issue.

Adam was a generous young man and what I miss the most about him is his unique laugh, his characteristic tight hug, and his signature goodbye. "Love you dad". I never remember an instance when we said goodbye in person or over the phone without closing by this signature. Since his death, I have not had any of these pieces of warmth. In his death, he is generous too. He is an organ donor and four people who benefited from his two kidneys, his liver, and his heart are still alive and doing well 4 1/2 years later.

I wear his high school graduation ring every time I am invited to speak so I feel he is still with me in spirit and that it is him speaking (because I am not sure I would have done that if it was not for him). I also feel that since parts of him are still around, he is now quadrupled the presence he was when he was alive. I am his legacy instead of it being the other way around (as it supposed to be) and that is the irony of this universe. Thank you for giving me the chance to post this.

Shawn was my younger brother. He was a light in so many lives. He was so very funny, always wanted to help others feel better and laugh. There was never a time when he would come over for family gatherings that he didn't make everyone laugh. He also felt very deeply, and gave me a special necklace that means so much to me. He was very much into music and what the words meant. He was an extremely smart person. Things people would struggle with he understood with ease. He had a very technical mind and when he was into something, he was all in, 150%. He was also easily addicted and while he was able to function pretty well through it most of the time, it also would take a terrible toll. He became suicidal a couple of times that we know about, something that I think was made worse with his using. I don't think he saw how much he meant to so many people. He also hurt a lot of people. Addiction is ugly. Finally he couldn't fight it anymore and either intentionally or accidentally left us during the night on March 28th, 2019. I miss him terribly.

Daniel was loved by his family and friends and was fiercely loved in return. He was an only child on paper but had many cousins who regarded him as siblings. He was funny, charismatic, and loyal. His absence has left a hole in all of us. He will never be forgotten.

Michael was a shining soul with a beautiful smile. He possessed great kindness of heart and empathy for others. He was witty and playful. He was a bright young man. All who met him loved him. There were times throughout his battle with addiction that he managed to stay in recovery. But there were also the dark times of relapse. He was greatly loved by his family and friends who witnessed his valiant struggle. In the end, his disease took his life. We will always love him and keep as a treasured memory of Mike, his beautiful, bright, smiling face.

My beautiful Son. Beautiful Brother. Beautiful Nephew.

Shawn was a person who would always make you laugh. He was living with his grandparents since he was 14. He had his trouble with drugs since around the age of 15. Rehab after rehab. He found heroin around the age of 19 and was fighting the fight to get free. Lost his fight May 29, 2018. HE WILL BE MISSED fR

Seneca was the youngest of four children. He had an older brother and two older sisters and they were all very close.
He loved animals, all kinds. I remember he hid a stray dog in my husbands old work car for about a week before he brought her in the house, and of course we kept the dog and named her Carolanne after the girl in the Poltergeist movie. Seneca loved to fish. He and Lucky, his best friend, would fish wherever there was water. Seneca loved family and family loved him back. Seneca was also an artist and somewhat a perfectionist. He'd crumple up what I thought was a perfectly good drawing but to him something was wrong with it.
Seneca was very hard on himself for not being able to get sober and stay sober.
I miss Seneca dearly. He was a big 6'5" good looking guy who gave the best 'bear hugs' ever. He was a comedian and he had a ton of useless trivia knowledge about almost anything. He loved music and he had an old soul. He loved Sam Cooke.
I miss his voice... "Hey Ma" I miss him saying "love you ma". He was a big handsome guy with a big handsome spirit who is and will be missed by everyone that knew him.

It is with heavy hearts that we share the passing of our brother and son, Josh Bagans. He was a radiant person who filled rooms with laughter and he would always put the needs of others before himself. Though we grieve our loss, there is joy, too, in having known and loved such a special person.

An opioid addiction ultimately claimed Josh’s life, despite the attempts at rehabilitation, re-entry programs, and family intervention. It is our hope that Josh’s story and our loss can prevent others from the same fate.

Tim was a beloved son, brother, uncle, and friend to so many people. He had a great job, loved the outdoors, and had a passion for skateboarding, video games, snowmobiling, fishing, boating, and anything having a loud engine. Tim was funny, caring, and supportive to his friends and family. He had a dream he could one day open a skateboard park for young people.
The picture above is him with his beloved niece, who he so dearly loved.
We believe Tim's problem started with prescription pain killers after a back injury from a skateboarding accident in college.
We thought he was ok. All seemed good. But on March 6, he took something that had fentanyl in it and his life ended. This has shattered all who love him. And as I read in the first days after we lost him, a quote from Mary Devine, author of "It's Ok that you're not OK": "You need someone to hold your hands while you stand there in blinking horror, staring at the hole that was your life. Some things cannot be fixed. They can only be carried.”

Tim was a high functioning young adult, with a good job, good pay, and good friends. But it pains me to think of how he must have felt, hiding this from his family and his friends. I know he loved us dearly, and if he can see us now, I'm sure it pains him to see how much we are suffering. But, Tim, I know you didn't mean to die, and I want you to know, it's okay, I'm not mad, I love you just like that first moment I looked into your eyes the day you were born, just like all the days when you gave us that silly smile when we took your picture, just like the day in 2016 when you promised me I will never get that dreaded call, just like last Wednesday (March 6, 2019) when I got the dreaded call, just like yesterday (March 13, 2019) when I said goodbye for the last time to the body I thought of as you.

We are devastated, and we want to help to save others from suffering this loss. Tim promised me he was not going to die. He was sure of it. But someone put an especially bad poison in what he took the night of March 5, that was so powerful and dangerous, they tell us he died almost instantly. He wasn't getting stuff from people he didn't know. I'm sure he thought death was not a real risk, or he wouldn't have done it.
Please, if you have this problem, know that you too are playing Russian roulette with your life, and as much as you want to not believe it, and as much as Tim didn't want to believe it, one day that bullet will be in the chamber for you. Please get help now.
Please don't let Tim die in vain. If his death saves one life, we will be forever grateful.

My dear sister was really one of a kind. Her beauty was so much more than meets the eye. From her tangy voice to contagious laugh, all the way to her spunky personality and loving heart. Seeing her you would never think she was fighting a battle because she continued to smile and share her laughter with others. I miss her in every way. Her ability to understand others and never pass judgment is something this world is missing after her passing. My sister, Lisa, fell into addiction around the age of 18/19. it really spiraled fast. It was a hard journey for our whole family. Some days we had our sweet sister back and others she was lost in the dark side of addiction. She was small but had a big fight in her! She wanted nothing but a sober life, working her dream job as a nurse and to be a mother (that was her ultimate dream). She would be sober and than relapse. Her relapses hurt her as much as they did us. Lisa had a lot of light and faith in life. It was such a sudden death. She was sober for a few months and her little body wasn’t use to that lifestyle anymore, and her body couldn’t take it. Her death story is a frightening one, and still makes my eyes fill with tears. When I close my eyes at night I still see the ambulance and nurses. I hear the doctor pronounce my sister dead to me and I get shivers and feel my stomach turn. It hurt then, it hurts now and it will forever. Addiction is a family pain that hurts everyone. She struggled with an addiction and lost that battle, but forever is a winner in all other aspects of her life. She made a change in her shirt 22 years and will never be forgotten. We love you Lisa Alex.

My daughter Marie Amanda Marchand MATTERED.
May 1, 1986 ~ March 23, 2019
#forever28
Marie was always ahead of her age group. From an early age she excelled in school and was a member of the T.A.G. (Talented and Gifted program).
Straight A student. An extraordinary memory.
Then we relocated to another state and that's when all hell broke loose.
Marie was 12 years old, entering the 7th grade in a new school, in a new state. She was not happy about this, leaving her school and lifelong friends for the past eight of her 12 years, since preschool.
Marie struggled in school with an entirely different curriculum. She also had to make all new friends, which she did pretty easily even at this awkward age.
To make a long story short...
My daughter was diagnosed with bipolar disorder (the same as her Meme).
She ended up being a cheerleader for Pop-Warner football in Amherst, NH. She was in a gymnasium practicing (as a Flyer) with NO mats on the floor, dropped on her head after they missed catching her then rushed to the hospital with neck and spine injuries.
Prescribed opiates for the pain, but could no longer receive them after 26 years old from her dad's insurance.
The rest history.

John Donald “JD” Byers of Great Falls, Virginia, died March 17, 2019 of an accidental overdose of prescription drugs and alcohol. He was 28 years old. John spent much of his life overseas as part of a Foreign Service family that had served in Israel, Pakistan, South Korea, and Ukraine, which made him a student of global affairs. He had great dreams for what he would accomplish using computer-human interactions and augmented reality to help people learn. At the time of his death, he was making plans to return to college to bolster his degree in business from Virginia Commonwealth University (VCU) in Richmond with studies in imaging science and quantum computing. John had an insatiable curiosity about how the brain worked and read broadly on science, philosophy, and leadership in the search for meaning, direction, and peace in his life. John’s passion was ice hockey which he played growing up in South Korea and Ukraine as well as for teams in Reston, Ashburn, at Langley High School, and at VCU. He had an infectious smile and would light up any room he entered, sharing hugs with any and all. He loved the beach, fresh falling snow, “authentic” rap music, and Christmas lights all year long. He loved his family and his friends, and they loved him. He is missed by his parents, Brent and Theresa Byers, his sister, Catherine, his grandmother, a host of aunts, uncles, and cousins, and Bogwon the dog. John will finally find peace in the arms of God.

When I met Tony, my life changed forever. I did not know at first that he had a problem with drugs. He had been on methadone and was doing well. I didn’t know what that was all about, but even if I did, I would have been with him because we were in love almost instantly. As our relationship grew, he stopped the methadone and was sober and didn’t go back until a series of surgeries put opioids in his system again. It was like a switch went off.

Yet, he was sober and serene for 10 beautiful years during which he continued raising his three children, Sarah, Marc, and Eli, and helped me raise my own, Nicky and Emma. Tony was great with kids. They loved him. He could make anything fun, a walk in the park, even a chore in the yard. He taught my daughter to ride a bike. He took my son fishing at the pond. He gave his attention and his time.

It’s hard to express in words the deep and true connection we had to each other, even in the last seven years, when his addiction to heroin retuned with a vengeance and ravaged his life, emotionally and financially, as well as my own. But through it all, there was love between us. And at the end, we were still spending time together and reaching out to each other every day with words of love and kindness. For this, I am grateful.

Tony’s family is warm and loving. We had so much fun together preparing barbecues or holidays for them. One year, he made a pernil for the first time in his life, and it came out great. He didn’t even eat pork. He did it for his family. He loved his children and his siblings and mother so much; it hurt him that he couldn’t do more for them. But he did so much just being him. He spent time with each of his children doing everyday things. It was time that he cherished.

At home our days were happy. We had a little dog named Chloe — Tony’s puppy through and through. We lived in a lovely, peaceful town, and took long walks near the water often. We rode our bikes on trails. We traveled a little — made it to Puerto Rico to see his family and to San Francisco to see mine. We watched TV, held hands, cooked, and cleaned together. We lived life. And it was beautiful.

The disease of addiction made his life ultimately unendurable. We understand this, and we forgive him. But we are all suffering deeply without him. He meant so much to us.

He always told me he would love me forever and that I would still be beautiful to him, even when we were old. I know he meant it, because he saw me and I saw him. “I see you,” he said to me on one of our early dates and he meant it. I saw his goodness from the moment I met him.

Tony, “Tone,” “Tone-Tone” as my kids called him. The world is diminished without you. We are so sad that your suffering was so great that you needed to leave us. We will miss you forever. I will love you forever, my love, my “babe,” and the love you gave me will live in me forever. My heart is broken without you.

Brandon was the son, brother and friend everyone always wanted to be around. He was a real “people person” who always had a smile on his face and a big laugh. In high school, he was the Homecoming King and star football player who never left the field. In college, he won a national championship, and he seemed to be on the path to a great life. As his father, I thought my job was done so I turned my attention to his younger siblings.

Brandon was the oldest of my children and the easiest to raise. Growing up, he rarely got into trouble and was the most reliable. But that all changed while he was in college and was introduced to prescription drugs (not prescribed to him) and alcohol. I later learned from his teammates that they would all pass around the painkillers and alcohol in the locker room after practice. Unfortunately, Brandon didn’t know he was genetically predisposed to become addicted to these drugs. Unlike most of his teammates, Brandon became a slave to these drugs, and he couldn’t seem to live without using.

Brandon battled his addiction for three years. We lost his fight on February 15, 2002, and no day goes by that I don’t think about him, wishing we knew more about addiction back then. He often said, “Dad, no one ever told me I couldn’t stop!” Brandon’s words haunt me regularly. The stigma of shame and lack of education about this disease kept Brandon from getting the help he needed.

Thank you Shatterproof for leading the fight to change the stigma associated with this disease and providing a place where we can share our stories.

Logan grew up in Spring Grove in the pigeon hills, a small town in PA where we knew everyone. It seemed like the perfect place to raise a child. He was definitely the entertainer of the family always funny and loving music... singing and dancing from a young age! By the age of 5 he started playing t ball and soccer his love for sports followed after his father and I which made us all very happy! If he wasn't playing sports he was outside riding dirt bikes four wheelers and go carts! As he grew older he added football basketball and lacrosse to his list of sports... he was a natural for sure! So by high school, he was focused on soccer and lacrosse primarily while maintaining good grades and working part-time as a dishwasher and cook... he definitely kept himself busy! When Logan turned 16 is when the problems began I noticed and found things drug related but primarily pot or cigarettes nothing worse. As the years moved on the problems progressively got worse... his cars were getting vandalized.... he was attending a local college following graduation and got a DUI, with a manufacturer intent to deliver charge for having Molly on him... in the next three months he got two more drug-related DUIs which landed him in jail with a felony and loss of license of 14 years.... things continued to spin out of control...

After jail he had a job and later decided to go back to college... before he left that summer his father was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and given 3-6 months to live. Logan went off to college and came home whenever he could get away... but at college the drugs and problems continued... he was blowing through his student loan money on drugs...he got arrested for numerous things shoplifting... buying stolen property, a rap sheet was growing rapidly... he eventually dropped out of college after his father passed away and came home after three semesters. He got a job with me again and tried one again to get his life together. We moved closer to work and the city where he was more independent close to everything to get around by bike or foot. In December of 2017 he took my car in the middle of the night...totaled it and came home! He ended up on house arrest for three months and more fines. But he continued down the wrong path until July of 2018.

He entered himself into a local outpatient drug program. He made it two weeks, relapsed, went back after a week... relapsed... and finally entered into an inpatient care facility St Josephs near state college. After 45 days he returned home 40lbs heavier... happy... driven to start a new life! Entered into a local recovery/sober living house relapsed after three weeks got thrown out for using in the house... slept on the streets for three days.. got into a fight and sent to jail where he was told rehab was his only option... so back to St Joseph's in November.

During his 30 days he was voted community leader and was stronger than ever...I was so proud of him! He decided to enter into an addiction clinic in CA for recovery/sober living so I made the trip to see him on Dec 13 and said goodbye and on Dec 15 he took his first plane ride by himself to CA! He was excited he loved it! He was in a million dollar house a block from the beach we talked often as he explored the area and went to LA and Hollywood. The first two weeks were good as he attended counseling and classes every day but the following two weeks I could see something had changed. He had deleted Facebook and his spending habits were changing again. On the morning of Jan 14 at 6:20 AM eastern time I got the call at work I always dreaded.... it was Logan's house manager telling me he had overdosed in the house, and was Narcaned twice and sent to the hospital. An hour later a Dr called me and said they were helping him breathe and the pulmonary specialist had worked on him and couldn't get his heart to beat again. The demon had won and Logan's drug struggles were over. It took 7 days to get him home to us on his last plane ride.

He is missed by so many every day but I know our angel is with his dad and watching over all of us every day and he is free of drugs and the pain he had suffered with for so long. RIP Logan

On September 19, 2012, I lost my daughter at the age of 28 to an accidental drug overdose. Her name was Jayna and she was an aspiring model who always said, “Someday i am going to be on a billboard on the West Side Highway, and I will stop traffic!”

Jayna was absolutely beautiful and well known and loved in the city of Yonkers, NY. I want this billboard for two reasons: The first reason is to make my daughter’s dream of being on a billboard come true, and second to bring attention to the fact that opiates can ruin all dreams.

This pic is one of her beautiful modeling pics that show that drugs do not discriminate and I think that such a billboard can, and will, impact those who see it. My intention is to have her beauty captured while sending out such an important message. Trust me, her beauty will stop traffic and get the intended message out to those who may be struggling with addiction.

I live these days to keep the memory of my only child alive and vivid, for she was a vivid and quite unique woman. At the same time, I will be trying to save other families and mothers from enduring the pain of losing a child to an overdose.

I am looking for a billboard to rent for as many months that my budget will allow as the GoFundMe campaign of JaynasDream continues. I would like it to be in Yonkers, NY, somewhere that those who knew and loved her will see it. I am focused on the caption: “I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE ON A BILLBOARD......I DIDN’T KNOW I WOULD DIE BEFORE IT CAME TRUE.”
*don’t let your addiction ruin your dream* and I would then like to Include an overdose awareness hotline. You can clearly see that this is a message that is strong and powerful and it will show how drugs and overdose do not discriminate. Anyone can be affected by the disease of addiction. But until the stigma is lifted, addiction will not be treated as a disease so let’s start by ridding the shame and throwing away the stigma. If I can help just one mother avoid the pain I live with every day my mission will be worth it and my daughter’s life will have more meaning than ever because she will be helping others.

Wendi was the middle of 3 children born out of an enormous love of her parents who were married for 60 years. She was most proud of being a mother to her only child, Cameron. She loved her family and she loved her job as a respiratory therapist. She had surgery on her neck years ago and became hooked on opioids. Numerous car accidents and being able to walk away from those uninjured, she came home, took too much of what she should not and not enough of what she should. She fell asleep never to wake up again. Four months later our Dad passed away also. We love and miss them everyday.

I miss everything about him, especially his hugs. They were the best. I miss him every minute of every day! He was sober for almost two years and worked in recovery helping others. I have been told by people who worked with him that he saved many lives. He did not lecture but was honest and would tell those struggling when they were messing up and share his experience.

I had a very hard time finding help for him when he was ready to get sober. It is a horrible problem that is still going on. He only had Medi-Cal and I called every place I could. They would put him on a waiting list that could take up to 4-5 weeks. Jodi Barber posted on Facebook that she had scholarships and had two beds available. I was on it and they picked him up that day.

He was super smart and I never heard him say a bad word about anyone. He didn't have a mean bone in his body. I really hate addiction and it needs to be addressed. Stop the stigma!