The National Addiction Memorial honors the loved ones we’ve lost.

It began in his tween years--catapulting into heroin at the tender age of 17. He tried every rehab, detox, program and sober house--but the beast continued to feed on his soul, his life, destroying everything in it's path. It would estrange him from friends, family, his daughter and himself.

Brian was in court-ordered programs off and on. When in program his drug use was minimal as there was the risk of failing a drug test. When he could, he dabbled. I don't know that he had a drug of choice. What I do know is that his first heroin high was his last of any kind.

Brett struggled with addiction for an entire year. He knew the consequences of his actions, but once the drug got a hold of him it was almost as the Brett I knew and loved was gone long before he was actually gone. He was scheduled to check into rehab the next day.

Addition came by pills prescribed by at least three doctors for issues he was having within his personal life. Not once did he ever get counseling to get to the root of the problem. By the second year of college he was getting into all sorts of things ... then he went to street drugs. When he left college he was still making A's, he didn't control them, they fully controlled him.

Brent struggled for years. When he was about 3 years into his addiction he finally admitted he was a drug addict. He cleaned up for awhile but the ugly disease reared its head again and he died about 3 weeks after his relapse.

Brennan was an alcoholic . . . .once he started drinking, he could not figure out when it was time to stop. He would binge drink. He knew it was ruining his relationships, but he thought he could "control it" and drink in moderation. More recently, he became addicted to OxyContin. He mixed it with alcohol last week and was found unresponsive. The paramedics could not revive him.

Billy tried alcohol in middle school and stole my left over Oxy. And took it to a party and snorted it with friends. He then smoked pot and we thought it was a one time thing but through out his high school years a kid at school stole pain medicine from his Mom. Billy was supposed to sell it for him, but instead took it all. Money went missing and he got beaten up and thats when we realized he had a real problem. We wanted him to graduate and thought by confronting this kids parents we would end his supply. Somewhere during 2011, he turned to heroin. When more money and items went missing we called insurance and they placed him in an IOP program 3 days a week and on suboxone. They kept increasing his dosage and he was still using. We begged for in-patient, called several places and even were told he had a bed. He was then turned away at the door because insurance said he was not sick enough even though he was snorting heroin. Back to IOP he went. We thought he was doing better until jewelry went missing. Now after a year and a half of this we took him to the ER and were told there was no rehab there. I begged them saying he couldn't come home and they gave us a number to call. Two days later he was accepted in a 14 day in-house treatment detox center. Then Christmas Eve we drove him to a 28 day in-house center that his grandma paid for, but it was in Pennsylvania and they did not have N.A. there. We were thrilled though because he was safe and seemed optimistic. He came home at the end of January 2013 and went to a local IOP program and after over 90 days clean he left his IOP and bought heroin. The next morning, March 19, we found him blue in his bed. He was taken off life support on March 21, 2013.

Ben was a text book case. He was diagnosed as bi-polar, schizo effective, major depressive NOS at the onset of puberty, at age 15. He struggled to feel normal every day of his life. He completed rehab at various facilities 5 times and each time he would get detoxed and on track he would come up with reasons not to take his medications so that he could self medicate with heroin. That was his drug of choice. He felt alone inside his heart and mind. He felt judged even when he was doing well. He felt as if he could never get a break. He damaged the relationships with his siblings. His father and I continued to do what we could for him. I couldn't figure out what his trigger for use was. He would relapse when everything was going well, stable home, job, friends....and he would relapse when things were not good...break up with girlfriend, no job, no friends. He lied, he stole...many things but I never gave up hope because they were just symptoms of the disease. January 12, 2014 he overdosed and the doctor told him that his heart would not survive another overdose. He completed rehab on March 8, 2014 and got a job, an apartment and was doing well. He died on May 22, 2014 with the heroin needle still between his toes. He was never able to see past his addiction and the wonderful man that he was when he wasn't using.

Ben seemed to struggle the most with his impulses. He had very little impulse control. If he felt something - he said it. If he wanted something - he took it. He was diagnosed at age 5 with ADHD and struggled with school and expected behavior for his entire school career. He came home from Kindergarten and said something like, "At recess, I run for the swings because if I get a swing, I can just stay on it for the whole recess and I know I won't get in trouble." Ben started stealing beers and alcohol as a young teen. He was very smart and therefore very sneaky and good at stealing alcohol. He started smoking weed and moved on to all kinds of other drugs by high school. He was a very talented chef and went to the state level of Pro-start, a chef program in high schools. He tried college, but it didn't work so well for him. He did get a great job as a chef; however, that restaurant life was rampant with drugs and alcohol and he continued using. Throughout high school and young adulthood, his family tried many, many programs for recovery and sobriety. They would work for awhile and soon he would be back using. Ben moved to California in 2012 and there he found heroin. He went through rehab after rehab in Cali. He was finally clean for four months and living in a good sober living house. He was working at the deli at Albertson's in Dana Point. He was staying clean and finally owning his own shit for the first time in his life. On the morning of July 22, 2014, he hooked up with an old druggie acquaintance. At 3 pm that afternoon, he was found dead in his room from a heroin overdose. He didn't even inject it, he had only smoked it, and yet he died from it.

Ben's struggle with addiction started in his early 20's soon after being diagnosed with a medical condition. We believe that trying to adjust and cope with the medical condition led him to a dependence upon opioids and a downward spiral ensued. Ben sought psychiatric help for his addiction to hydrocodone and Xanax. However, it was a battle that was never won and led to a loss of different jobs and close friends. Ben's personality drastically changed from being outgoing and energetic to quiet, reserved, and isolated. Even through battling his addiction, Ben fought for his independence and ability to maintain his last job which he held for a few years. Ben became extremely ill the last few weeks of his life, and on July 17, 2015, his body finally gave out to his drug abuse. He passed away in his sleep.

His struggle with addiction started with pain pills after having surgery 2009 and ended 2015 with heroin. When he was unable to get opiates he turn to heroin. He was in a transition house for a couple months and got the bright idea that he was able to kick it on his own he was advise now to leave but he ignored the counselors and walked out.and went to live with a girl that he had met whom was also using heroin and was dead three weeks later.

Artie struggled for years with an addiction to prescription pain killers and then heroin. He fought a hard fight until the day he died.

Anthony started doing Oxycontin in 12th grade. He battled his addiction for 6 years. He went to 3 rehabs, all 21 days or under because that's all insurance pays for. He had periods of sobriety, but then always relapsed. During those sober times, he would tell me the truth about things he had lied about when using. He switched to heroin at Alpha Sigma Phi fraternity at Penn State. We had pulled him out of Penn State and he was going to Abington campus, about 30 minutes from home. We thought he had beat it, because we think he had been clean for about 8 months. But, there was that "one more time" and he went to heaven.

Ant's challenges were subtle at first and then became stronger as his life became harder to control and manage. He had to be the best and this was certainly not a fit but he couldn't no longer ignore its hold.

AJ struggled with addiction for years, his poison..prescription anxiety meds..opiates. Though he was a happy soul on the out side, many days he struggled with depression. Fearing he was never good enough for anyone to love him, he often felt guilty for his addiction. For a while he was doing great except he traded one addiction for another after a while drinking in substitute...he finally went to rehab and got out New Years eve of 2012 we rang in the new year together. He was sober. He passed 14 days later. He was on life support for 8 days. The overdose caused an "anoxic brain injury" they called it. Most heartbreaking day of my life.

Andrew began experiment with drugs in high school, but his addiction happened in college in 2009 with Oxycontin. He was in FL during the Pill Mills, and Oxy was cheap and readily available. Oxy made people, life and college tolerable. Andrew often expressed frustration with trying to find people on his intellectual level, so Oxy made him more like everyone else. Andrew tried all drugs, but Oxy was the one that hooked him. He never thought so, of course. He always thought he was in control. Even when he was forced to switch to heroin in 2014, he told an old friend "Heroin is not so bad, it's just like Oxy". But in August 2014, when he took the job promotion in Las Vegas, he thought he could leave heroin behind. He told me "Mom, I never planned to do heroin here. I planned to quit, but I realized I was an addict when I got to Las Vegas and still had to have it." Even at the end, when his life really began to unravel, he still thought he had the upper hand with this drug. He refused long-term treatment, he thought after de-tox he could go back to work. I spend the last 6 days of his life with him, he was clean 19 days. He told me what I wanted to hear - "I don't want to do heroin again, Mom". But he struggled so much, he was so sad and ashamed of what his life had become. On the surface, he was a very successful corporate executive who had everything. In reality, he was a struggling addict who lived for Oxycontin and ultimately heroin. He didn't not want anyone to know. So on a Monday afternoon, 11/10/14, he told me he wanted to attend and AA meeting down the street. I was so excited and happy he was making progress, I dropped him off. One hour later he did not respond to my texts or phone calls. (remember, Andrew was VERY obedient). I knew in my heart what had happened. 1 hour and 45 minutes after I dropped him off, the hospital called. He was found in the bathroom at Petsmart, just down the street. It was too late to save him. He died alone.

Andrew started using drugs in middle school in his hometown of Billerica, Massachusetts at the age of 13. First it was marijuana which he used often 3-4 times a day - starting his day with it before gong to school. He sold marijuana for many years until he graduated to opiates. Like most kids his age, he started with Perc 30's until he discovered that for much less money he could buy Heroin. Andrew relapsed many times and struggled with embracing the 12 steps. It took being arrested in 2014 for possession and trafficking of Heroin and being sent to Middleton Jail to make him realize how serious his addiction had become. He went to a sober house in Portland, Maine where he learned how to live sober. He got a job as a cook at a local restaurant, learned how to do everything on the grill, was proud that he learned and was good at something new, started to work the steps, got a sponsor, attended and spoke at regular meetings, started mental health counseling, joined a gym, was feeling good about himself. Physically, he looked and felt great having gained back some weight that he lost when he was on dope.

Andrew had severe anxiety, even as a child. He was later diagnosed bipolar also. In middle school he began experimenting with alcohol and pot. By the time he was 18 he had tried heroin. The family was helping to get mental health treatment, but medication management was constantly interrupted by jail. Twice he went to rehabs that did not allow psyche meds. When he didn't have insurance, he went a year with no medication. In between homelessness, jail, mandated sober houses, and drug testing, he was hospitalized with psychosis, but discharged to the street after three days because of no insurance. He worked hard at periods of sobriety. On his 30th birthday, three weeks before his death, Andrew told us he was very tired and did not believe his life could ever change. The final days he was clearly not of sound mind, but our attempts to make him see a psychiatric failed. We took him to the ER, but he left AMA. We should have tried harder to get a judge to commit him. I didn't know then what I know now.

Amber started to use or "experiment" with drugs/alcohol at the age of 12..She was able to "slow" it down during her early teens, but really never stopped.. Taking ectasy 13/14 yrs old, snorting coke and molly at 15/16.. And smoking pot thru it all. She went to a handful of counselors between age 13-16.. She was able to go to school, handle a job and move up into leadership/manager positions. But at 19 years old, about 4 months before she passed, you could something was different..when she first ingested heroin.. She died 4 months later, in her room, at her mom's house.. The next morning, I was going to pick her up and take her detox and treatment..