The National Addiction Memorial honors the loved ones we’ve lost.

A year has passed. There is not a day that goes by we don’t miss you. We aim to celebrate your life and speak of you often. So happy to have been blessed to have this video that captures your walk, yawn :), talk, laugh, and of course dance moves.
To all those family members and friends who support their love ones, continue to do so. They don’t mean to hurt us - addiction is a disease. For those who have lost someone to addiction- it doesn’t get easier but continue to be the voice and help change the way the world views and handles those who are struggling. To Andrew, we love and miss you greatly. Love, Lauren, Danielle, Mom and Dad

Taylor was a selfless, loving son who struggled with mental illnesses for most of his short adult life. Turning to alcohol as his solution to feel “normal” and numb the mental pain, his physical being started to decline rapidly. Even through the mental and physical pain, Taylor never focused on himself. He was always there to lend an ear to friends and family. He wanted only the best for people and to make sure people around him were happy. He will be missed by all those who were fortunate to know him.

Andrew was an adorable, big eyed baby; a tall skinny kid who grew up to become a very handsome man. He loved his parents and was so proud of his sisters too! He spent a lot of time with his family in Staten Island, Long Island, Connecticut, and Brooklyn.

He struggled for many years in life with his addiction. There were good times, there were bad times. He wanted to be loved, he wanted to belong, he wanted peace in his life. We am not going to say Andrew is in a better place because that place is with us. He is in Jesus' arms now, all of his wants and more are his.

We all loved you Andrew and wished you could have stayed with us longer. We prayed for you from the start and hoped and prayed for so much good for you in your life. Your big, beautiful smile will be missed, your sense of humor and witty charm too. You will never be forgotten, you were loved by so many people!!

I look forward to seeing you again.

Rest in Peace Grandson,

Whitney was very kind, smart, funny, and lighthearted. I always loved to be around her because she made everything seem fine even if it wasn't. She could take the brutal reality of a situation and make it sound hilarious. She was always around her friends and she loved music, computers, movies, and concerts. She was an empathic person listening intently to friends' problems and careful not to share their confidences. She had been involved in many activities such as cheerleading, ballet, band, and art graphics and was a good student. In terms of art graphics and photography, Whitney had an eye...a different perspective that made her very talented in this area.

She was a very sensitive soul that seemed to experience life on a different level. When I think of her it seems she was like a gentle breeze...carefree and unfettered by life's harsh realities. This is who she portrayed but inside she was plagued by a relentless anxiety and an emotional turmoil that led to her addiction to heroin and ultimately her death. She was 20 years old when I received the news that my child had been found dead in a credit union parking lot. She had died of an overdose. The child that I had cared for and loved with all my heart was gone. Previously, Whitney had been in recovery for a year and a half and was doing well. She had just completed her coursework to become a recovery coach and was engaged to be married. Addiction does not discriminate...recovery is lifelong...and one time is all it takes to wipe out a future. I love and miss my girl.

The best little brother a girl could ask for.
Danny lit up EVERY room he walked into.
He didn't give hand shakes but bear hugs to everyone he met.
If you needed absolutely anything, he would be there.
The most selfless person I have ever known.
We were both adopted and brought together making our bond even stronger and more special.
He was lost tragically before his 27th birthday and the void in our hearts and souls will never be filled.

He struggled for 10 years. The greatest, kindest person you could ever know. He is forever missed by me, his dad, his two sisters, and two nieces and a nephew. He was my sweet baby boy and I will never get over his passing.

I am creating this on behalf of a family who lost a son and a brother. Zach was not only the youngest of the Ferraro family, but an imperative piece of a puzzle that kept them all going. The Ferraro dynamic is really unlike any other family. The bond between them is so unusual to an outsider like me, that I appreciate the relationships, but don't always quite understand them. Zach was a good friend to me and many others, even in his addiction. As usual, there is tension and defeat in some relationships. Neither party is to blame when they stop interacting like they used to, but when one life comes to an end, the regret piles up. If only this and if only I had done that... Zach's famous words to me were always "Don't worry about me, worry about yourself." He meant that. Zach had a kind heart, a good soul, and was truly a person who felt for others.

Sorry I couldn't say a final goodbye and I hope others learn from your experience.

Adam was a beautiful soul, who loved animals and adored his son. I met my son when he was three. I fell in love with him right then and there. He always had addiction problems, and alcohol was his drug of choice. My wild child, with a heart of gold. He became addicted to opioids when he had surgery. Then he hurt his back, was given more opioids and he was using heroin to supplement the prescriptions. When he moved to Florida from Illinois, they were giving him 120 30mg oxycontin a month. That is when the hook went in deep. He was getting into trouble, making really good money and spending it all on drugs. He refused help. I know this drug is killing people and taking our children at an alarming rate. He was so stigmatized because of the way he died. I really deplore stigma. It reduces a human being down to an adverb. His death cannot be in vain and the stigma that goes with addiction must stop. These are humans and they are just like you. I live rurally and the talk was cheap and bad. I will do all I am able to help this cause. I have always been an activist. I was born this way. This is the most horrible thing that can happen to a mother. I am already bleeding and you say he was nothing but a what?

JESSICA
I'm going to tell a story...about a girl..that became a woman, and her view, pain, love, and hate of this world and the people in it and her difficulties to cope with each.
I'm writing this as her mom, but some of the content of this will be her words that came from a few journals that we found after her passing. I battled for days and weeks, now months, whether to make her life/cause of death public, but knowing Jessica, if this could help just one person she would do it!

In an excerpt from one of her journals she wrote the following: "It must almost be over.
What am I going to do then? All my friends are gonna go to hell. I can't handle any of this....anymore....life....people....talking....breathing...being a part of this thing called living.
I absolutely can't deal. God please help me...
Nobody can understand, not anymore...everything seems so useless and hopeless...I'm so weak. I can see the future, but I don't know how to help my friends, the people that I love...they don't know God...just like everybody else I know...I'm so lost...far away...gone. I love them too much...I care about everybody too much. I wish I could stop...I want it all to go away...everything...to run away...thats what I want to do. Leave the world behind...the depression...sadness...loneliness...emptiness...the infinite sorrow of death and pain. The torture of living. I want it all...to stop. But I don't wanna die I just can't do that...I care too much about everybody else...to hurt me...that damn caring thing again. God help me.
I see so much beauty...but it all comes from the pain and sorrow - it hurts- but I can see the beauty- what is wrong w/me. God please help...help me please. I don't know what to do and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. There's no point. Give me someone to talk to.
Why can't I just be like everybody else...somewhat normal- but please-no one is normal, maybe I am - no I'm not. God please.. I'm tired of fighting with w/myself and with/life.

That was my daughter, pretty much, in a nutshell, and this was written in middle school so she carried these feelings of hopelessness for decades! She cared so much for other people and their ups and downs, their sadness, their losses, their hopes and dreams, and she absorbed all of their misery and carried it day to day, and if she couldn't fix their problems it ate a hole through her soul.
This is a girl who found it extremely difficult to help herself and couldn't fix her own problems but she would always be at your doorstep if you called. She had to fix people. She attracted the broken ones.
This was, I'm sure, why she chose to find ways to numb herself. First it was the doctors, anti-depressants, anxiety meds, etc. Nothing worked...I don't remember the first pain pill, but she soon realized the euphoric feeling was the answer to all her misery!
Now I do realize that she dabbled in many things off and on through high school and college. It wasn't something she did everyday or even every week but the different "highs" she experienced made her forget how she felt...for a little while at least!
Later on in life she actually started withdrawing a lot...she ignored phone calls, messages, etc. This was partly her disease and partly because she realized trying to be everything to everybody was killing her.
She did this off and on for the rest of her life.

She also struggled with her appearance. She was taunted in middle school and that left a very deep scar. So when she started losing weight it really didn't raise any red flags. Needless to say it wasn't done without a drug. Doesn't matter what drug but she went through methadone treatment and NA to get off of it. And she did...that was many years ago so we thought she was finally on the right path...then she started drinking. A lot.

Jessica always had a smile on her face and you would never know that she was going through anything of any magnitude. She worked 40 plus hours a week, she made good money, customers loved her. She was high functioning with her addiction.
She didn't look like your "typical addict".

This girl struggled with how people treated each other, how they treated animals and what the world was becoming and the pure evil that surrounded us! This also was her pill to swallow...she hated this life...she was not of this world...she was just playing a part until it was her time to go. She came to us to teach us... and left us...to teach us something else.

Jessica was an angel on Earth and now she's returned to heaven as a heavenly Angel💔
Mama loves you baby and I will never get over you leaving us😢

Jessica died in my bathroom floor all alone. This haunts me!
The ME's report says she accidentally overdosed on heroin. Yes, she had heroin in her system...but she also had an artery that was 90% blocked and for almost a week prior she was having trouble breathing, and of course, she thought it was her asthma, so we never thought much of it. Now I'll never know if she had gone to the ER?? What if?? I have a lot of what ifs....

Red flags...none except moodiness...but hell that was normal sometimes!
I never knew she had ever used a needle...let alone heroin....this was something we talked about and she said, "No way, I'm too chicken to do that!"

Pay close attention to the people in their lives. No matter how old your children are pay attention to their new friends or old friends that reappear in their lives.

This was our first red flag!! I wish like hell now that I would have been psycho mom!
There's always that one person that you just can't put your finger on...but something is off.
Another "what if"?
But the sad thing I have to come to terms with is that Jessica was a grown woman and I probably couldn't have done anything that I hadn't done already or tried to do.

Burying a child is unnatural...I will never be the same...that's all I know for sure right now
Love your kids, never take them for granted....This was something that happens to other people or in the movies. Well I'm not in the movies so I guess I'm one of the "other" people now.

I did not write this for sympathy or any kind of attention. I wasn't sure if I should put Jessica's deepest thoughts or demons she fought out there for everyone to see. I'm still struggling but addiction is killing more and more of our families and I never in my wildest dreams would've believed our family would become a statistic.

I hope the details of Jessica's life and death touches someone out there and give's them the strength to get up and reach out to somebody for help.

PLEASE PLEASE SHARE THE HELL OUT OF THIS!!!! I need it to go far and wide to reach those that need it--that person sitting on the side of their bed wondering if this is how life is supposed to be and if life is even worth this pain, relying on a drug to get through the day to day. Is that living? Even though my daughter didn't commit suicide it's the same results. She knew that every time she let the devil take over and pierce her skin with that needle it could be her last. She took that chance every time. It's not worth it! Get up off the bed and tell someone, anyone, you need help! Hell, if you don't have anyone else call 911. Call the suicide hotline, 1-800 Suicide, check yourself into a rehab, just DO SOMETHING! Your life IS worth it!!

I will always remember the morning of Nov. 5th as the day my heart broke in two.

My name is Omar Abubaker. I am an oral surgeon, professor, and chair of the department of oral and maxillofacial surgery, at Virginia Commonwealth University and Hospitals. I lost Adam to heroin laced with benzo, over four and a half years ago.

Adam is (was) my youngest son of three children. Sarah is the oldest and Joe in the middle. Joe and Adam were living together when Joe found out that Adam was using heroin. Adam was too embarrassed to come and ask me for help so he asked Sarah and Joe to come with him so I would not be mad at him. When they came to me my first question is what should we do, where do we go for treatment? His sister said my friend is having treatment at a local place. The next day I drove him there. That was at the beginning of December 2013. He started to detox and three weeks later they told me he has a positive urine test for heroin. I got mad at him and we talked about it and he was very apologetic. Looking back at that now I feel awful and ashamed I felt that way.

From that point, he went through a course of 9-month recovery, during which he moved out, started a full-time job, and started going to school at night. On Friday, September 26, 2014, at 1:00 he was close by at the MCV hospital/school where I work, having a doctor appointment so he called me and asked me if he could stop by. I said yes. We talked for about an hour and I suggested we go away just the two of us on his one-year anniversary in recovery. He said: "One day at a time, dad". After we were done, we walked to the bookstore and bought him books and stethoscope for his class (he was studying to be an EMT). Then we stood by the traffic light across the street from my office. We hugged and he said, "I love you dad" like every time we ever part ways. I stop by this traffic light every day on my way to work. I never knew at that moment that it would be the last time because the next day, I got a call 8:00 to be told that he was found overdosed, no pulse, and not breathing. He died four days later. I never walked into his room in the hospital ICU. I wanted my last memory of him to be the hug, and the words "I love you dad".

Since his death, my life has never been the same. Initially, I wanted to die so I can be with him, followed by being afraid to die because I wanted to live so I can revenge his death. I went to graduate school for a year on addiction studies so I learned the science of addiction. I wished I knew what I know now before I lost my son because I often think I may have been able to do a better job to understand him and maybe could have helped before or after he was afflicted with the disease. Because I had no second chance at saving my son, I wanted to do something to save others sons and daughters. Over the past two years, I have been traveling across the country (over 75 times) speaking to dentists and physicians to prescribe responsibly. Adam got addicted to prescription medications after shoulder surgery and within months he became addicted to heroin. I have spoken over 100 times locally in my city (Richmond), all over the Commonwealth of Virginia, and nationally at dental meetings, to nurses and medical students, dental students, 3 churches, a synagogue, 2 public libraries and anybody who wants to listen. I have appeared in the media (TV, newspapers) and I testified at the US Senate HELP Committee in Washington, DC.

Everywhere I talked I brought up Adam's story, and similar stories of other families, to make the point that addiction is a disease and to destigmatize the disease. I use the quote from Shatterproof, that Brian said "It took 300 years for the women in Salem to be vindicated." In my presentations, I always say, with my efforts and speaking up to prove using science that addiction is a disease and not a moral failing, I also say that I hope that it will not take that many years for my son, Adam, Brian, and many other Adams and Brians to be vindicated. They did not want to be addicted and wanted to be well. If all my efforts will result in one day sooner for society to accept the true nature of addiction then I am still at peace. As many parents who endured the agony of losing a son or a daughter, I cannot imagine that death will be more painful than my loss so I have not been afraid of dying since his death. The only thing I am afraid of nowadays is dying before I do enough on this issue.

Adam was a generous young man and what I miss the most about him is his unique laugh, his characteristic tight hug, and his signature goodbye. "Love you dad". I never remember an instance when we said goodbye in person or over the phone without closing by this signature. Since his death, I have not had any of these pieces of warmth. In his death, he is generous too. He is an organ donor and four people who benefited from his two kidneys, his liver, and his heart are still alive and doing well 4 1/2 years later.

I wear his high school graduation ring every time I am invited to speak so I feel he is still with me in spirit and that it is him speaking (because I am not sure I would have done that if it was not for him). I also feel that since parts of him are still around, he is now quadrupled the presence he was when he was alive. I am his legacy instead of it being the other way around (as it supposed to be) and that is the irony of this universe. Thank you for giving me the chance to post this.

Shawn was my younger brother. He was a light in so many lives. He was so very funny, always wanted to help others feel better and laugh. There was never a time when he would come over for family gatherings that he didn't make everyone laugh. He also felt very deeply, and gave me a special necklace that means so much to me. He was very much into music and what the words meant. He was an extremely smart person. Things people would struggle with he understood with ease. He had a very technical mind and when he was into something, he was all in, 150%. He was also easily addicted and while he was able to function pretty well through it most of the time, it also would take a terrible toll. He became suicidal a couple of times that we know about, something that I think was made worse with his using. I don't think he saw how much he meant to so many people. He also hurt a lot of people. Addiction is ugly. Finally he couldn't fight it anymore and either intentionally or accidentally left us during the night on March 28th, 2019. I miss him terribly.

Daniel was loved by his family and friends and was fiercely loved in return. He was an only child on paper but had many cousins who regarded him as siblings. He was funny, charismatic, and loyal. His absence has left a hole in all of us. He will never be forgotten.

Michael was a shining soul with a beautiful smile. He possessed great kindness of heart and empathy for others. He was witty and playful. He was a bright young man. All who met him loved him. There were times throughout his battle with addiction that he managed to stay in recovery. But there were also the dark times of relapse. He was greatly loved by his family and friends who witnessed his valiant struggle. In the end, his disease took his life. We will always love him and keep as a treasured memory of Mike, his beautiful, bright, smiling face.

My beautiful Son. Beautiful Brother. Beautiful Nephew.

Shawn was a person who would always make you laugh. He was living with his grandparents since he was 14. He had his trouble with drugs since around the age of 15. Rehab after rehab. He found heroin around the age of 19 and was fighting the fight to get free. Lost his fight May 29, 2018. HE WILL BE MISSED fR

Seneca was the youngest of four children. He had an older brother and two older sisters and they were all very close.
He loved animals, all kinds. I remember he hid a stray dog in my husbands old work car for about a week before he brought her in the house, and of course we kept the dog and named her Carolanne after the girl in the Poltergeist movie. Seneca loved to fish. He and Lucky, his best friend, would fish wherever there was water. Seneca loved family and family loved him back. Seneca was also an artist and somewhat a perfectionist. He'd crumple up what I thought was a perfectly good drawing but to him something was wrong with it.
Seneca was very hard on himself for not being able to get sober and stay sober.
I miss Seneca dearly. He was a big 6'5" good looking guy who gave the best 'bear hugs' ever. He was a comedian and he had a ton of useless trivia knowledge about almost anything. He loved music and he had an old soul. He loved Sam Cooke.
I miss his voice... "Hey Ma" I miss him saying "love you ma". He was a big handsome guy with a big handsome spirit who is and will be missed by everyone that knew him.

It is with heavy hearts that we share the passing of our brother and son, Josh Bagans. He was a radiant person who filled rooms with laughter and he would always put the needs of others before himself. Though we grieve our loss, there is joy, too, in having known and loved such a special person.

An opioid addiction ultimately claimed Josh’s life, despite the attempts at rehabilitation, re-entry programs, and family intervention. It is our hope that Josh’s story and our loss can prevent others from the same fate.

Tim was a beloved son, brother, uncle, and friend to so many people. He had a great job, loved the outdoors, and had a passion for skateboarding, video games, snowmobiling, fishing, boating, and anything having a loud engine. Tim was funny, caring, and supportive to his friends and family. He had a dream he could one day open a skateboard park for young people.
The picture above is him with his beloved niece, who he so dearly loved.
We believe Tim's problem started with prescription pain killers after a back injury from a skateboarding accident in college.
We thought he was ok. All seemed good. But on March 6, he took something that had fentanyl in it and his life ended. This has shattered all who love him. And as I read in the first days after we lost him, a quote from Mary Devine, author of "It's Ok that you're not OK": "You need someone to hold your hands while you stand there in blinking horror, staring at the hole that was your life. Some things cannot be fixed. They can only be carried.”

Tim was a high functioning young adult, with a good job, good pay, and good friends. But it pains me to think of how he must have felt, hiding this from his family and his friends. I know he loved us dearly, and if he can see us now, I'm sure it pains him to see how much we are suffering. But, Tim, I know you didn't mean to die, and I want you to know, it's okay, I'm not mad, I love you just like that first moment I looked into your eyes the day you were born, just like all the days when you gave us that silly smile when we took your picture, just like the day in 2016 when you promised me I will never get that dreaded call, just like last Wednesday (March 6, 2019) when I got the dreaded call, just like yesterday (March 13, 2019) when I said goodbye for the last time to the body I thought of as you.

We are devastated, and we want to help to save others from suffering this loss. Tim promised me he was not going to die. He was sure of it. But someone put an especially bad poison in what he took the night of March 5, that was so powerful and dangerous, they tell us he died almost instantly. He wasn't getting stuff from people he didn't know. I'm sure he thought death was not a real risk, or he wouldn't have done it.
Please, if you have this problem, know that you too are playing Russian roulette with your life, and as much as you want to not believe it, and as much as Tim didn't want to believe it, one day that bullet will be in the chamber for you. Please get help now.
Please don't let Tim die in vain. If his death saves one life, we will be forever grateful.

My dear sister was really one of a kind. Her beauty was so much more than meets the eye. From her tangy voice to contagious laugh, all the way to her spunky personality and loving heart. Seeing her you would never think she was fighting a battle because she continued to smile and share her laughter with others. I miss her in every way. Her ability to understand others and never pass judgment is something this world is missing after her passing. My sister, Lisa, fell into addiction around the age of 18/19. it really spiraled fast. It was a hard journey for our whole family. Some days we had our sweet sister back and others she was lost in the dark side of addiction. She was small but had a big fight in her! She wanted nothing but a sober life, working her dream job as a nurse and to be a mother (that was her ultimate dream). She would be sober and than relapse. Her relapses hurt her as much as they did us. Lisa had a lot of light and faith in life. It was such a sudden death. She was sober for a few months and her little body wasn’t use to that lifestyle anymore, and her body couldn’t take it. Her death story is a frightening one, and still makes my eyes fill with tears. When I close my eyes at night I still see the ambulance and nurses. I hear the doctor pronounce my sister dead to me and I get shivers and feel my stomach turn. It hurt then, it hurts now and it will forever. Addiction is a family pain that hurts everyone. She struggled with an addiction and lost that battle, but forever is a winner in all other aspects of her life. She made a change in her shirt 22 years and will never be forgotten. We love you Lisa Alex.

My daughter Marie Amanda Marchand MATTERED.
May 1, 1986 ~ March 23, 2019
#forever28
Marie was always ahead of her age group. From an early age she excelled in school and was a member of the T.A.G. (Talented and Gifted program).
Straight A student. An extraordinary memory.
Then we relocated to another state and that's when all hell broke loose.
Marie was 12 years old, entering the 7th grade in a new school, in a new state. She was not happy about this, leaving her school and lifelong friends for the past eight of her 12 years, since preschool.
Marie struggled in school with an entirely different curriculum. She also had to make all new friends, which she did pretty easily even at this awkward age.
To make a long story short...
My daughter was diagnosed with bipolar disorder (the same as her Meme).
She ended up being a cheerleader for Pop-Warner football in Amherst, NH. She was in a gymnasium practicing (as a Flyer) with NO mats on the floor, dropped on her head after they missed catching her then rushed to the hospital with neck and spine injuries.
Prescribed opiates for the pain, but could no longer receive them after 26 years old from her dad's insurance.
The rest history.